Alone In A Tiny Room . . .

Life Changes

2009-08-14T11:17:00.000+08:00

Life is changing faster than i am expecting... Really having a hard time to believe that amount of changes in a sudden 1-2 months...

Recent economic crisis has finally hit me... my mum lost her job and i felt a responsibility to grow up faster and be independent and also help her out... I thank God for being always there for me, knowing how i feel and listening to my prayer every night... Mummy found a new job recently... but instead of the usual 5 hours job she was doing.. the new job requires her to work 10 hours a days... and it sounds tiring to me... that could also means she will have very little time and energy for house chores and all... No more breakfast ready for me the moment i wake up... No more clothes all done up... No more nice and neat living environment?

She was telling me last night that she hopes i can help her out with chores like ironing my own clothes, washing them.. take care of my own meals.. Dun sounds hard to me... but she seems to worry alot that i might not cope...

It seems God is not going easy on me at all, given me a relationship i always wanted... but also lots of problems tagged along with it... which requires an enormous amount of effort and patient till everything can really work out... He pushed my limits to the max.. On top of my new and current commitment and my studies, He is adding problems in my house, and took away so much time from me... I used to control time.. but Time is controlling me now.. =( I can feel He is telling me it is time to grow and be strong... He probability had a great plan for me... and now he needs me to be stronger in order to work his plan... isnt it wonderful that God had put in so much effort in my life and is making me go thru all these for a stronger Paul? =)

Pray for me... Life is not gonna be easy on me for the next few months...
Get orientated soon my boy... We got work to do =)

Til the end

2009-08-02T13:24:00.000+08:00

Till the end - 斗鱼原声带

演唱 / 词 / 曲 :陈达伟 David Tan

All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That 's holding me all night
I don 't know how I found you
I 'm thankful that I have

Now that I have a love so true
To hold ,
to keep ,
to share

In my heart ,
I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I 'll always be
with you until the very end

In this world ,
there is no place I 'd rather be
You are my life ,
my soul ,
my girl

And through it all
I know
that you 've come to see
that You 're the one
till the end

All my friends around me
Say you 'd be gone too soon

Baby ,
I 'm gonna make them see
We 've found our way back home

In my heart ,
I can no longer hold inside
All of the love
I used to hide
I 'll always be
with you untill the very end

In this world ,
there is no place I 'd rather be
You are my life ,
my soul ,
my girl
And through it all

I know that
you 've come to see that
You 're the one
till the end

We 'll always be
till the end

Haha..

2009-08-01T15:38:00.000+08:00

Was reading my "secret" blog after so long of leaving it alone there... then i came across this entry... which i think it is suppose to be shared and not kept secret... anyway i had a good laugh when i read it... like... what the hell? i actually wrote that kind of stuff! haha~ Entry was from Monday, October 03, 2005! enjoy~

Monday, October 03, 2005

The Lao Tai Po~

lalalala....

A little angry... but i can control it =)

maybe i am a little pissed off?

anyway... That lao tai po at my home was trying to show how GREAT she is~ oh ya... Great huh? but hor.. my foot greater... *SPLASH* opss... GONE~

lalala... so lame..

Juz now... she was asking me to read her a letter... its my father's car fine~ *serve him right! kekeke* The Lao Tai Po at my house was trying to play Sherlock Holmes? or maybe Jin Tian Yi? she was trying to find clues on where my father could be living with that bitch based on the car fine! Splendid isn't? But.. hahaha! too bad the fine was at TAMPINES STREET 21!!! lolololxxxxxxxx that's my father's shop location~ *MISSION FAILED!*

Then she wanna throw the fine away coz she couldn't get any clues out of it... how wicked nowadays Lao Tai Po can be... Nv Nv Nv... of fence them... rated HIGHLY dangerous Animals! =XXXXX

Then i said.. i wan that letter... becoz i am going to give it to my father~

She eyes grew big with fury flames burning in them... and then she cleared her throat with a loud "AHEM!" which sent a quake shock wave into my room and bounces off the wall~ I suffered sober injuries in my little ears~ CRUEL LAO TAI PO!

Then she exclaimed "HUH WHAT? YOU HAVE BEEN SEEING YOUR FATHER LATELY????" Wow.. that exclamation had a huge amount of potential energy stored in it... after the unleashed of this supersonic sound wave~ books and CDs were flying around my room and all glasses broke upon coming into contact with that supersonic sound wave! wow... how terrifeak...

After recovering from the catastrophic damage done~ i spoke up... with firm voice... i thundered into her half deaf ears! "NOPE I DIDNT! BUT HE REQUIRES ME TO HANG OVER HIS LETTERS BEFORE HE IS WILLING TO HANG OVER MY ALLOWANCE! U DUMB ASS!" (opsss... pls censor the last 3 words away)

Looking unaffected with my lvl 99 Thunder Bolt shock wave~ The Lao Tai Po swiftly did a counter attack... She quickly send another high speed super sonic shock wave back to me... cutting through my thunder bolts and crashing every obstruction in its way... the super sonic shockwave hit me! i fell from my chair and rolled to the other side of my room~ wow.. tts must be the legendary Ah Ma Shen Gong which once owned the world~ how horrifeakable!

"DUN TAKE HIS MONEY LA!" that was what came after the horrifeakable damage of that Legendary demonstration...

what the off lo... i dun take his money then YOU wanna feed me ar? dumb lo... she said why muz i care? not that i dun have a place to stay.. not that i have no food to eat...

hell to her! if she is 50 years younger... i will show her besides her Long lost Legandary Ah Ma Shen Gong~ i also know the Legendary Long Lost Tai Ji... Bai... opsss! heck care!

aiya... she is just very what the fook... ya... what the fook... fook u la...

dummiessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

posted by Paullution at 11:49 PM | 0 comments

lalalala~ but i love my ah ma so much now =)

Crap?

2009-07-27T23:31:00.000+08:00

Crap.. i wanna upload photos and start telling story of my first car accident... but i dunno why the upload photo function is missing... weird.. shall leave it til next time...

Come to think of it.. I didn’t realized school started for 1 month already... It feels like i am at the 1st week of school~ I guess I am really behide in my studies already =(

Oh Paul, Time management! please improve the way you manage time! haha~ i think i horrifeakly managed time this new semester... and i am pretty sad over it.. =(

This new semester's modules are pretty tough, and they are not straight forward at all... The notes i read are written in alien... The economic graphs had like 10 curves and 20 lines on it! And I started to hate the letter “Y”, Becoz its all over the graphs!!! hahaha~ I wonder how is the target of 4 HDs this semester achievable.. =(

Oh ya… Started my trumpet music lesson and I am aiming for a Grade 5 next year… I am gonna work for it! But can I have 48 Hours a day? Okay… How About 28 Hours?? Pleaseee =)

This new semester, kind of found a new group of friends whom are closer to my type of frequency… the Di Siao Siao and Crazy Wacko Frequency =) Great to know funny and fun people.. Great to feel appreciated.. Great to feel wanted and belonged =)

Paul shouldn’t be so lonely compared to first semester I guess? Yup =)

There are many things at the back of my mind, many things waiting for me to handle and fix them.. But before I can do all those stuff… I just hope I can overcome this big issue that I am facing right now… Although I feel things are getting positive, but that fear that I might end up all alone again creeps me… It hurts whenever I force myself out of love =( So please overcome it. I choose to be brave and move forward, I dun care about the consequences anymore. =)

Oh yes, i had a really good day today, thanks to someone =)

Wouldnt it be nicer?

2009-07-16T00:47:00.003+08:00

怎么去拥有一道彩虹
怎么去拥抱一夏天的风
天上的星星笑地上的人
总是不能懂不能觉得足够

如果我爱上你的笑容要怎么收藏要怎么拥有
如果你快乐不是为我会不会放手其实才是拥有

当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷而祝福而感动
终于你身影消失在人海尽头才发现笑着哭最痛

那天你和我那个山丘那样的唱着那一年的歌
那样的回忆那么足够足够我天天都品尝着寂寞

知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛

足够? 我懂不懂?

Why do i worried so much about future... i got tired and restless... For now i just wanna focus on present... just treasure these precious moments... and make them into sweet memories... Be it what will happen tomorrow.. If i still can smile today.. i smile =)

Made a mistake

2009-07-14T09:59:00.002+08:00

If a stock is considered as very high risk and it comes with really low returns... Will anyone even consider such a stock? If there is... Is that person a fool?

I think i am the fool... Why did i risk my own happiness? Shouldn't i have learn to be a little more selfish? It hurts to figure out the truth...

I wanna be a little emotional now... My heart is suggesting why don't i have a good cry and just forget about everything... I shouldn't have opened the door so early...

As soon as they return to normal, everything will be fine except me. So... before that day comes, before my fear turns reality... before i am left alone there... will it be a good idea to pull myself out from this? It will hurt...

Jesus are you there? What storm am i facing now? what trials in His Will am i going through? I am tired, can i take a little rest?

I am not that wonderful after all..

God will make a way

2009-07-09T00:29:00.003+08:00

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.

=) sometimes i dun even know if i have big faith or tiny faith.. although God said even a faith as tiny as a mustard seed can move mountains, still sometimes i feel so weak and helpless.

I am losing my smile, will it come back soon? It gonna take awhile for everything to settle, and i am praying for patience and endurance...

Since You bought me here, and now i am lost, please make a way out for me.

uneasy...

2009-07-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

Nobody is suppose to understand this entry...

Topic for this entry.... Describe your feeling now...

Moody... nope.. not really..

Unhappy... i can still smile..

Fearful... alittle.. but not the best...

Worried... also alittle.. but still not the best...

Uneasy... hmmm... ermm.... maybe this fits...

ya.. i am feeling uneasy about the things that are going on... and i think its an accident? i dunno... but it was there since the start... i took precautions... but why do i still end up in the place i least wanted?

random.. random.. random.. random... abcdefg... i dun wanna be a bad person... =(((

abcdefg... abcdefg.. abcdefg... A blessing? An act of kindness? or My pure selfishness?

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.

i feel horrible because its crushed... eeehhh... i really reallllllyyyyy dun like this feeling.. LEAVE ME ALONE!

You are disappointing dear Paul...

Enjoy life :))

2009-06-17T23:59:00.002+08:00

Guess what.. I am on my bed... With the OSIM massage machine turned on... Listening to my fav classical pieces... And a glass of wine beside me.. Blogging on iPhone again.. Haha... Totally feels great! :))))

Did I mention a glass of wine? Haha.. I dunno why.. Suddenly got this feeling to drink some wine.. Although I dun really like...

Oh I got alot of things to blog.. But I won't do it uses iPhone.. I m just bored now while waiting for the massage machne routine to complete..

Have been thinking of what I wanna do with my life... I spent the whole day today thinking... Somewhat I manage to more or less have a better idea of what I wanna and all... Still working on it... I hope whatever I am thinking is according to God's Will...

Ok... It's late.. Time to finish that glass of wine and sleep! Nite!

Results are out =(

2009-06-04T18:08:00.008+08:00

Results are out...

=(

I got 2 normal Credits and 2 normal Distinctions... at first when i saw my results, i thought it was okay... but later when i know more and more of my friends results.. i start to realize my results are not okay... in fact i think i did badly... What is 2 normal distinctions when everyone is getting like 2-3 High distinctions?

I am not trying to be greedy and whatsoever, yes.. i appreciate the fact i passed all my modules and successfully proceed to the next semester... i have a thanksgiving heart... i know He is watching over me... just somehow... i thought i could do better than this.. i am very sure i can...

i am left with 2 semester to go, can i learn to prioritize my things better? i dun wanna just pass this degree and get out of it.. now with 2 credits i wonder can i still go for a degree wit distinctions? i dun care... get me 4 HDs for Sem 2!

just another empty entry

2009-06-01T00:43:00.002+08:00

It's nearly a month has passed since holiday started... and i haven got enough of slacking... in fact, i haven even really slacked! whenever i wanted to slack for a whole day... something at the back of my mind will bark at me to finish it before i can slack peacefully... why is this holiday sooo busy~ =(

Just as i thought tomorrow is a good day to slack... i realised i need to follow up on a case i closed recently... i realised i haven settle some of my clients inquiries... i realised i haven do my proposer for huizhen... and eldershield thingy is still going on... i am receiving my new list this week... and there will be a long list of cold calling to do... and i need to make birthday cards... i need to go my aunt's house to fix her laptop... i still haven started on my NTU course... i need to complete my music theory exercise book by this month.. and my table is messy... my computer is breaking down.. i need to get a new one... and i need to shop for my sister's birthday present... and i need to call singtel for some shit and i haven started training for IPPT... and and and and... omg.. the list goes on... ahh... how to slack in peace???

huizhen says i am bad at prioritising my stuff.. until i can miss church... =( but i think what she said is quite correct... i dun like to keep a to do list... but i am not very good with efficent time management.. i can work fast but i cant manage time well.. =(

Anyway went to jason's concert just now... i enjoyed myself. Even though i went alone to a concert for the first time! Well.. but i dun feel very out of place.. maybe its becoz i have noone to chat to... i was very focus on the music... and NIE Band didnt played well for the 1st half of the concert... but the 2nd half was bravo... they played most of the music that i like! although the band sounded messy, but i find the dynamic of the music was good.. the band still managed to bring out the feel of the music despite of the mess they played! =)

Went to Jeremy's house with jason and wei jian for his 21st birthday celebration~ We played WII! omg.. it's the first i played that thing... i always thought it look so stupid and dumb to be swinging the controller here and there... but once you try it.. you got addicted! haha~ i think i kinda love WII... oh shit! DEAR PAUL! YOU ARE NOT BUYING WII! =)

i wonder did something happen to me? recently i got pretty "emo" easily... but the good thing is.. whenever i am really emo... i will fall back to God... because He is my only comfort and shelter =)

i am becoming back to the old me i guess... shdnt i be more cold hearted in order not to get hurt again?

I wanna be a candle.. that lights people's darkest corner.. so they will not be lost in darkness...
A heart that appreciates makes a different in life.. not just your life.. but others life too.. =)

Nite!

Botanic Garden Music Concert!

2009-05-17T22:58:00.004+08:00

Wow... today was an adventurous day! I took my dad's car and went for a spin! no... i mean ALOT of spin! lol~

The initial plan was to pick Jason the FOOL up at redhill at 4pm then we proceed botanic garden for an open concert at 4 30pm~ i left chai chee at 3 30pm and memorized the route in my mind before moving.

Yeah... everything was smooth until i exit Adam Road from PIE and missed a turn into Tiong Bahur Road~~ And for that... i LOST MY WAY in singapore! lol~

After i missed the turn... i totally had no idea where i am driving to... so i drove into a car park and reset my GPS~ (Yes, Iphone GPS)

Man... i always thought the Iphone's GPS is good... until i really tried it out today... and OMG-ed.. it lagged big time! i kept missing my turns because on the phone... the indicator shows i haven reach the junction but in fact... i ALREADY PASSED IT! lol~

so this went on and on and on... and i drove into 3 car parks! reset my GPS 3 times! LOL! and finally.... oh finally.... i got the hang on the GPS and got my directions right and yes.... i reached REDHILL MRT! omg-ed!

Picking Jason up wasn't smooth... good thing he was late... coz i picked him at 4 20pm! Gosh~

But this was not the end of the story! Our next destination was the botanic garden... i thought with an assistant to direct the way using the GPS, everything should be fine...

BUT NO! Jason is as worst as me reading the GPS! lol~ we got ourselves LOST AGAIN! hahaha!~

You cant believe it took us 45mins to drive from redhill mrt to botanic garden! LOL~ but it was also due to finding car park lots~

Something happened at the car park... ... A BMW 5 series ALMOST HIT ME! GOSH! What happened was this FEMALE BMW driver didn't position her car well enough so her could reach for the cash card machine to insert her cash card at the car park gantry... So she just conveniently changed to reverse gear and started REVERSING when my car was DIRECTLY be hide her!

WAH... Good thing i was quick to reverse my car to prevent it from happening... wahhn.. Female drivers... =X

But it didn't end here! The both cars went into a car park that was FULL! haha~ so we got to make our turn out... AND AGAIN! THE BMW REVERSE WITHOUT CHECKING! I sounded my horn this time... Damn annoying... Come on.. buy a lorry and Do That! Dun wack into people's car with a BMW 5 series! ~.~

So after all the "thrilling driving" we FINALLY REACH BOTANIC GARDEN! and Yay~ We missed the first band of the concert! Yeah... didn't get to listen to Phil Wind Youth.. and Jason didn't get to listen to the piece "Imagine" =( booooo!

It was CROWDED there man! every single spot on the grass was occupied! haha~ i was surprise with the number of people showing up for casual outdoor concert like this... You dun even see that many in Indoor Concerts...

It was about 5 45 then and we found a spot to sit... nice spot... right at the middle where you can view the entire orchestra~

So the Singapore Symphony Orchestra performed... and it was OMG-eeeedddd x1000! MY goodness... There were only 2 trumpeters... and they played 1812 overture! and its damn NICE! i totally love it... Jason was speechless after listening... haha!

Anyway SSO played 6 pieces of music which lasted like an hour plus... of which.. 3 were contemporary music and 3 were classical music~ they played Greensleeves... another OMG-ed piece... and Intermezzo~ Damn nicee... Chicago.. and more!

Took some picture of SSO during their performance.. and i really like the ambiance in botanic garden when the sunrise setting... super romantic! Yay... Jason and i said if the next time we got GFs... this is a sure place to come.. and have picnic! =)

Anyway i am pretty sure my driving skill LEVEL UP today... i did like countless 3 point turns... countless parking (to reset GPS)... haha~ Good thing meixin and Alice didn't go... i think i am gonna get nagged by girls~~~

So photos!

SSO Performing~ Cant really see.. haha~ but look at the crowd.. FULL HOUSE!

Night Falling! Dun you think its super Romantic there?

iPhone can blog!

2009-05-14T03:34:00.003+08:00

Wow... You won't believe that this entry is entered by using iPhone! Yes.. I am now in my room listening to the CDs I bought yesterday... And my computer is off and I suddenly feel like blogging... Haha... I am loving this wonderfully created iPhone more and more... The thing this phone can do.. Totally surpass other phones~ haha...

Well... Exam is finally over and I think I did fair.. I hope I can Pass all my modules and process to sem 2 successfully... I am counting down to my graduation day :)

And finally it's school holiday for me again after like 2 years of NS! I think it's a blessing that I can still study and enjoy such a wonderful term break after all the overnight studying.. But I dun wanna rot myself away... It's gonna be a fruitful break for me... I have great plans in mind :)

Prepare for my grade 3 music theory exam end of this year, brush up on my trumpet and enter a commitee center band in June, hit my insurance sales target, spend enough amount of time helping my father at his shop, complete my NTU finance certificate online cse, prepare for ippt and pass with a silver at end of June, and also not forgetting to finish my animes :)

I think that is quite alot of things to do for 2 months of break huh? Well... Keep going dear Paul! Fighting!

I think it is almost time for me to go back to Christ's arm... I really cannot go on without Jesus in my life.. Thanks to the recent sermons in church and to the beautifully written Christian song that gave me courage to face God once again after ignoring him these few months.. I am sorry...

I am thinking... What kind of person will I be in future? What kind of boyfriend, husband, and father will I be? You know I have been waiting for her to cross my life.. It's not easy to wait here patiently.. :(

heyy

2009-05-05T03:53:00.001+08:00

Hey...

Do you have any idea what are you doing? Please stop it at once... Pretty please...

?

2009-04-27T00:34:00.003+08:00

As i continued to watch Beethoven Virus, two subtitles set me pondering...

"You are Alone in this world; Family,Friends, Love-ones are just illusions"

What happens if you are living in a world where only you truly exist? Everything else that you see are all merely illusions? Even as you read this entry, its all illusion... Can you imagine what kind of world you are living in where everything else is illusion?

Did i scare you by saying that? I hope i didn't, it is just that "like to think of weird things Paul" is back.

Another subtitle that caught my attention...

"You are born with something you are good at, just that you haven found it"

Did everyone that died found that "something" they are born to be good at? What are you good at? What do you think you are born to be good at? Whats your gifted talent? what is mine... i dunno... Can you imagine what kind of world you are living in where everyone is finding the that "something"?

I laid on my bed and recalled the "make a different days" during my poly days. Something that i told myself to work on since that day, and guess over these years, it is beginning to show the result? but i know i am slacking already... read this >> http://tiny-man.blogspot.com/2007/07/make-differenceeeeee.html

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone around you make a tiny difference in their lives, this world is gonna be a nicer place to live in, am i right?

Wouldn't it be nicer if everyone around you get to know the story of the "one solitary life"?

Yikes.. whats wrong with me today... i was just pondering... it has been nearly 22 years 6 months that i have lived... and i thank God that i am still kicking... but what have i done to contribute to this beautifully create world? Society?

I always picture the world i lived in... Its an orchestra...With God being the Conductor... And i am seating right at the back... the last row where the trumpeters are seated... playing the piece according to His directions... Watching His baton going up and down, swinging left and right... counting 1...2...3...4... as God swings the baton... soft down as He indicates a decrescendo... go loud as as the baton builds the crescendo... This is not about music playing... this is about human's life... How can a player be successful if he is not following the directions given by the conductor? Not only he ruins his own music... he ruins the entire orchestra's music... And this is the same for the way of life...

i am sad... because i am not watching the baton anymore... because i could not keep up with the tempo....because i am left behide... Because i am feeling all alone in this tiny world on mine... Will the conductor restart the piece just for me?

Lee Ji Ah! Suki!

2009-04-22T21:24:00.003+08:00

I think i fall in love...

with.....

Lee

Ji

Ah

Who???

The girl that played the violin on the train....

bleh... Stupid Korean Drama... And my exam is just 8 days AWAY!!! i am addicted to the show... Beethoven Virus!

Anyway... she is the perfect person that spells out what kind of girl Paul is dreaming of... hahaha~

anyway i like this picture alot... When the trumpeter meets the violinist =)

Back to study spree... I GIVE UP ON LAW! ITS WASTING MY TIME! TIME TO SLAUGHTER MICRO-ECONOMIC! WOOOHOOOOO! =X

Time for another entry =)

2009-04-17T01:26:00.002+08:00

Hey, its been awhile since my last entry =)

Know what? Today as i walked into SIM, i saw a bunch of people graduating! Wearing the robe and that "square" hat... wow.. i am so envy~

The whole atrium was filled with graduating students and nice buffet spread being laid out~ *envy envy* Its totally crowded there with guests and i had a hard time passing through the atrium and make my way to the library for my exam revisions~ *wahh*

Half way to the library, i whispered to myself.. "Dear Paul, Its about 400 over days more to your turn to wear that robe and pose in front of the camera! Make it happen!" =) Suddenly i felt pretty motivated to study and go for my distinctions!

Yup.. that very day is nearing... and do whatever that will make that very day happen =)

Btw, something not so happy happened... which i am very very very disappointed... yeah... someone from my insurance team actually kind of stabbed me~ =(

i am totally disappointed with that teammate of mine and the integrity and ethic she holds, in short, i am about to loss a case which i have secured just because of unfair incentives offered by my teammate to under cut me... 1 hard earned case gone~ with all the effort put in...

I was quite furious at first, and was thinking should i keep up with those incentives offered? but my heart was calling out, "Dont keep up! Its unethical and illegal!"... So i reconsidered the issue and it seems the opportunity cost of crippling my career outweighs the need to win back this case by unethical and illegal inputs... so be it... Harvest is plentiful~ And unethical is not Paul's style at all... I prefer a fair competition =)

anyway... i still feel kinda upset inside... maybe for a normal person, he will be waiting for chance to backstab that person... and deep inside i realised that evil thought is being seeded in the heart which will ultimately bare the fruit of sin. That brings me back to the question of when do i wanna reconcile with God? He is waiting there at the door and i am refusing to step in for whatever reason..

It sucks without Christ but why are you so stuborn Paul?

=((

2009-04-05T01:21:00.002+08:00

Oh dear...

I look at my schedule... its just another 25 days more and EXAM!!!

And seriously... i know almost NOTHING about what i am studying!

I planned my study schedule... its really packed... The day i complete all my topics..it will be the day my Exam starts...

I hope i will keep to the schedule and finish all the topics!

I wanna go for Rev. Tong's Gospel Rally again! But exam is coming.. how how?

I am having a huge gap from God... Why am i ignoring Him again??? yucks...

And why am i feeling kinda emo today... i saw her.. =(

cockroach!

2009-03-19T06:02:00.003+08:00

ITS 6AM NOW! AND I AM AWAKE!

NO... i didnt stay up the whole night! in fact i just wake up! and i slept at 1am last night!

Wake up so early to blog? NO! the reason i am awake now is because my room IS (still going) Invaded!

A stupid disgusting flying cockroach fly into my room when outside starts to rain!

STARTS TO RAIN..... THAT IS THE BEST TIME TO SLEEP!! WHY INVADE MY ROOM NOW??? ARGZZZ!

The roaring thunder woke me up and i was planning to shut the windows, but before i could do so... i saw a little oval moving shadow just 10 cm away from me on the wall... straight away i recognize its a bloody cockroach... I almost jump out of my bed lar!

NO! i am NOT scare of COCKROACH! I just DUN like them!

sian... i forced to wake up... located the cockroach, ready to spray and kill it... but this cockroach is a smart cockroach.... as i clear my stuff to obtain a clearer view of the cockroach on at edge of my bed, the cockroach also SLOWLY move to areas that are hard to see, so its like i keep clearing, the cockroach keep hiding... damn annoying...

so i decided to do it the machine gun way... spraying blindly!!! and what? later i lost sight of the cockroach.... AHH!!!! and the battle stopped... i even shifted my whole bed... Flip over... turn it around...but no sign of xiao zhiang...

But i feel totally disgusting to go back to sleep... imagine half way the cockroach APPEAR... Crawling up your body... then to your face... and decided to squeeze into your nose as a cave??? hahaha! ER XIN LAR!

i told myself... the cockroach should die by itself... or it should move away.... annoying PEST!!!

screwwwsss up!

2009-03-08T23:39:00.002+08:00

Well... my life is pretty screw up for now... and this sux...

Its been awhile since the last pimple pop out to say "hi" to me.. but recently a BUNCH of them POP out suddenly and shouted "YOYOYO!" to me! i really very sian...

My mum said i look uglier and uglier ever since i started school! I think she is really mean! but the truth is.. i feel this way too! booo! i need to sleep earlier and wake up earlier! i really miss sleeping at 10pm! Its really good for the body! trust me! and sleeping at 2am causing pimples and dark eye ring! =( and it also make you look uglier.. and my mum said i lose weight.. she said i am better looking when i am "rounder" hahaha!

I screw up my business statistic test! yes.. whoever sets the paper is must be a sadist... crap... 20 qns in 60 mins, 3 mins each qns, and each qns requires enormous amount of calculation! i even "guess" my answer as they are in MCQs. Yes... i picked the numbers i like the most and use them as my answers! lolol~ shit lar... I am gonna kiss goodbye to me distinction!

So my lifestyle is screw up, my studies is screw up, and what more? even my trumpet screw up!

Yes, it did! i dunno... but i am very unhappy with my intonation... i wanted to produce a darker tone instead of my usual bright sounding tone, but the sound became soooo sharp#######! and ugly! i am thinking of a mouthpiece change~ and now i cant really produce bright sound as i altered my embouchure!

and my tonguing technique... its like i have been tonguing using the lower jaw and my tongue for all these years! and now suddenly i realize i cant double or triple tongue this way! Arban says i will need my upper jaw and the tip of the tongue to perform those precise tonguing! That means i need to re-learn the way i tongue the notes! and its hurting! ahh.. i dun think anyone understands me now~ conclusion is.. i think my trumpet sounds bad!

Paul is very very very veryyy unhappy =(

Drunk!

2009-03-02T00:52:00.002+08:00

I open my fridge for no reason... its just a little habit of mine when i am bored...

Then i saw Spirit... then i pour some out into my cup...

then... i saw on the table... a bottle of tequila... hehe!

Well... i juz finished something that i dun usually drink! Alcohol! lolol~

wah lao.. today is really a boring day.... rained the whole afternoon... i cant even go out =(

well... i think i am feeling HIGH right now! yes... my cheeks are red! hahaha...

Ok... Its a Perfect Time to K.O myself on the bed now! Nite! =)

New Headset =)

2009-02-28T01:08:00.002+08:00

Yay~ Has everyone noticed their bank account suddenly increased by about a hundred or two? heh...

Guess what? I pampered myself with something i always thought of getting~ A Headset! haha~ Surprise? and guess how much did that Headset cost me? heh =))

nearly 130 bucks! haha! yes.. i feel a little burnt at the pocket... but i really really happy =)

i bought this audio-technica SQ5 headset after choosing really hard from the display rack! here is a little picture i found online~

pretty right? i got the black one~ i dunno why... although i really like the white one...

Now i am really enjoying my music! i dun really care if wearing a headset will destroy my hairstyle.... i choose great music over great hairstyle =)

Know what? this headset is really good, i am so happy when i can hear the double bass, cello and timpani clearly! and of coz, listening to my favorite Symphony No.5 feels sooo SHOIK! =)

Ok.. Bye.. i am going to listen to more great music right now with my new headset! =)

My New Job Tittle everyday!

2009-02-19T00:29:00.006+08:00

So its almost reaching the end of my intensive lecture period where those RMIT Lecturers flood me with information i cannot fully digest and i am really lacking be hide!

Then again, as i look forward to next week's schedule, i think its getting pretty interesting... I have different tittles for myself every different day =)

Monday, I will be a Law Consultant, specialized in Investment Law
Tuesday, I will be an Economist, analyzing individual markets and sectors
Wednesday, I will be a RFID Technician, who specialized in RFID printers
Thursday, I will be an Economist, analyzing country's growth and GDP, advising on policy decisions
Friday, I will be a Data Analysis, studying different sets of data and making sense out of them
Saturday, I will be a Musician, making music with the trumpet
Sunday, I will be a Nasty Fruit seller, who lies to his customer

hahaha~ Isnt it pretty exciting? i hope i can manage this~ seriously there are a lot of things waiting for me to do~ so start moving! No time to waste!

Way back into love?

2009-02-15T01:24:00.008+08:00

Way Back Into Love - Hugh Grant

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end~

i chanced upon this song from a new album i just bought, and i should say the song is totally singing my heart out. Every word written in the lyric is speaking to me... I find some comfort in the song, i think its weird, the correct respond is to feel sad... Will the stars shine for me?

Its a pretty sad valentine day this year, yes, accompanied my best buddy, or should i say he accompanied me? both way works... but i feel so envy for those that are holding hands and flowers, all i could do is to hug my trumpet case =(

Something kinda happened today, i think i made a discovery about myself, but not really a genius discovery though.. was shocked with my emotional reactions when the news was broke to me, but i didn't expected to react this way, oh whats wrong with me?

But its okay, i just accidentally dipped into something i shouldn't, it didn't take too much of an effort to get myself out though, just that i feel a little torn and tattered somewhere near the chest, but believe me, i am really okay...

Dear Jesus, although you know everytime you shut a door, it breaks my heart....but i am glad in a way you shut the doors so quickly whenever i was about to walked into a wrong one... i just wonder how long more will i have to walk before i hit the correct door? am i anywhere near? i am really impatient... i look pathetic... i am sorry... you know i waited for 8 years and still counting...

Teach me what is trust and obey =((((

I made a promise to myself, stop emoing okay? i should really divert all my energy into my studies... I cant even concentrate in lecture today!

YUCKS! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

Just another not so happy day~

2009-02-12T00:35:00.007+08:00

I really really don't like the month of February... Especially 12th and 14th of February!

But Thank God, today i am much happier compared to the past three 12th of Feb. Anyway it marks the 4th year already, and i really really wanna get out of this... I think i am out of the virtuous cycle already, but not so totally as there isn't anyone to take over the empty spot.

I have been praying about it, I dunno if God had planned for it... Maybe He is holding back for whatever reasons... But as the years goes by, i am feeling impatient...

Please put that patient in my heart, if it is gonna be all my life to wait for that her to cross my life, i will gladly wait... But please dun let my fire dies out...

Emo today =(

Fast Pace

2009-02-06T00:59:00.006+08:00

My left eye is slightly swollen, i wonder was it the new year goodies that contained nuts caused an allergic. Anyway i stopped eating all those goodies...

I am supposed to be sleeping already but i feel like shouting some stuffs here before i call it a day...

Did my timetable and i realized my schedules are packed back to back! Gosh, my last lesson ends at Apr 17, and immediately the next Monday is the start of the exam period! Isn't there suppose to be like a 1-2 weeks of study period? I hope my cohort can handle such a pace well and do well this semester.

Anyway i planned to begin working for my old man at coming Feb 23rd, and that means i am gonna be really busy and i hope i can juggler everything well. Yes, i hope from whatever i have planned, there is a balance between work, school, music and play.

Recently i guess i have been playing a lot, maybe its time to tone down and get serious with school, if not i cant see how am i going to obtain distinctions in the degree.

Well, time to sleep... Please take that swollen eye off me, My Lord~

School has started!

2009-02-04T01:05:00.004+08:00

I removed alot of rubbish of my blogskin! And i feel happy =D

I wanna put the song Lover's Concerto on this blog~ But i am so lazy~

So its the 2nd day of school! and Both days i took cab back! Clementi to Bedok~ Ouch!

I am glad i made a few friends like Herna, Jenika, Boon, Kaiqiu, Edwin, Casper, Chee How and afew more~ Thanks to the Orientation, it seems like days in school will not be so boring as i expected?

And my personal timetable is still pretty messed up.. My old man wants me to help him in his shop, I have exams and stuffs and things i wanna do... I dunno... But deep inside i wanna do well for my degree but to strike a balance between Friends, Fun, Study, Trumpet and Work... I think its not gonna be easy... I am still working on my timetable to see how i can efficiently spent my time. Please pray for me....

Talk about praying... i am reading a book on how to pray.. interesting? But i think many of us wanted to live a prayer life but many a times due to distractions we could not... Little Prayers can lead to Great Things to be accomplished, i wish i could pray in a way that great thing will be accomplish...

Talk about my Old man and the ugly Mistress, I have been seeing them a lot recently due to work, and i am actually talking to her... Have i turned soft? I thought my heart is as hard as a rock... In my mind, there are two words, Forgiveness and Salvation. It might be the work of Christ, my hatred towards them seems to subside, my concern is their soul to be saved... I still dun enjoy talking to her, and i will probability never enjoy it... But just a tiny little wish, i hope my old man will pay enough attention to his children before the rest.

Great endurance, Great trials, Great problems that God has given me. But i know be hide all these, its attached with Great Blessings and Great Love... Pray for me that i will stay by Jesus to overcome these problems.

=(((

2009-01-10T01:21:00.003+08:00

Its already 10 days of 2009~

But but but... I am still not feeling the desire to make improvements in my life... I haven even follow up on my resolution... how???

Motivation? Desire? Inspiration? Need?

=(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( *wake UP!*

God please do something about me... I am going nowhere if i continue like this... =(((((((((((((((

Resolution for 2009

2009-01-02T12:01:00.008+08:00

In a twinkling of an eye, 2008 has passed... And here comes 2009 which means new plans, new hopes, and lots more new things and old things to do and to improve.

I will say 2008 has been a good year, many things happened and they happen for their very own reasons. For the resolutions I have set for 2008, 80% of them were accomplished compared to 2007 which is only like 50%. Maybe i got better with setting goals; maybe it’s really me that is improving. Nevertheless, Life is not going to get easy in anyway, and I need continue improving myself to survive well.

2009 Resolution

o Pass all modules with at least 3.0 GPA

o Start some little investments

o Insurance Sales Target $20,000

o Obtain grade 3 in music theory and practical, Trumpet

o Audition for Committee Center Band

o Plays Trumpet for the Church and PYMB Alumni Band

o Regular in worship service and fellowship

o Study the life of Jesus, Bible Study

o Live a abundant life, a life that pleases God, a life that prays

o Pass IPPT: Silver

o Take good care of myself

o Improve relationship with Dad

o Mum’s Salvation

o Learn Cooking!

As I look back at my life, I realized some decisions we made significantly affects how our life is going to be for the next few decades, For example, If I did choose to continue band in poly days, I might have joined the SAF Band, I might sign on as a musician like many of my band friends, or if I had choose to study a music diploma, I might be going overseas this year for a music degree?

So now, whenever I make decisions, I will to look into 10 or 20 years later how will things turn out to be.

Youtube Symphony and Zoukout

2008-12-17T21:52:00.017+08:00

YouTube Symphony -Eroica

I wish i can join the audition of youtube symphony and play together with everyone... but i skill and technique to tackle this piece of music by Tan Dun is still not up to the level~

There is a trumpet solo at 1:05 and i just love that tune so much! i am practicing hard to play it nicely! High #G... rwahhh~

Here is how the Solo looks like at 1:05 sec for those who reads music...

After i think i sound better... i might upload my own clip! hahaha~ i am thinking of dropping Gym and use the money and hire a Trumpet tutor! hahaha~

So Zoukout 2008! Fun or Horrible? I will say if you leave before 2am... Yes Very fun! Very Happening... and there was fireworks~ and for the early birds.... FREE FLOW DRINKS! YA! but you stayed all the way... It becomes boring at the later part.. with horrible DJ playing horrible songs like Mario Theme... Why dun play Tetris Theme too? We are all happy with dance with that!! and derrick hates DJ Yoda! haha~

Free Drink for Early Birds! Look at their happy face!

Free Bungy Jump: Derek on the Spin!

I trying to jump as high as i can!

No More Freebies~ =(

I thought this is a nice picture with the moon and star and zoukout!

$8 for a drink that didnt made my face turn red! I think there is no alcohol lo~

I think this is the Main Arena~

Massage Service in the middle of no where~

Fireworks! ! !

A random shot that i find it nice~ haha~

Its Party Time!

Spot the number of Bikini Babes in this photo!

And here... Its confirm i am allergic to alcohol! =(

SIM Here i Come!

2008-12-03T21:38:00.007+08:00

Oh well, Before i start talking about my not so happening life, let me talk about a poly friend's life.

His name is Seck Wang, and if i remember correctly we were in the same class during 2nd year. Although i was not very close to him, i know him as a very nice person. As much as i recall, he is smart and hardworking, a good peer and also a good teammate. If my memories are correct, he is also part of the Counterstrike and Dota gang that stays behide class to game in the RP network.

Although nobody knows what really happened, May he rest in peace and lets respect his decision for ending his life. I express my deep condolence to all his relatives and friends.

The light memory of Tay Seck Wang will be eternally kept in our hearts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok...

So the long awaited letter from SIM finally arrived, and guess what? I wasn't accepted for the January Intake next year! What a news...

But God works in his own way, because the initial intake was too small and the response for my course is overwhelming, SIM/RMIT decided to increase the capacity of intake, but the classes will only start in February. And most of the classes will be held in the evening, yes.. evening class for a full time course, interesting isn't it?

At first i wasn't really happy about evening classes, but later when i think about it again, isn't it a blessing in disguise? I can wake up later, work, play my trumpet and do many other things in the day. And the best of all, how about a lazy afternoon nap?

Haha.. of coz i shouldn't be only thinking about all those stuff, but i am a little upset now because evening class means i can no longer attend bible study classes =(((

Whatever it is, i am still excited about studying, and seeing myself obtaining a degree and finally entering the work force! One and the half year =)

Tag from Derek~

2008-11-18T21:59:00.011+08:00

Ok.. So this is the tiny game from Derek's Blog~ and i finally found sometime to write it! haha~

How is game is played?

"So basically you take a friend/ppl you know and use one simple sentense to fully describe him as how you think or feel of him. Can be a motion he always does, how she smells, or how they look. OK I shall start." From Derek's Blog

Derrick cant dance becoz he will fall down
Dennis is shorter than me
Jody is having holiday in Singapore
Sia Heng must breath slowly
Derek thinks he is spontaneous
Gabriel likes stickman
Mei Kuan is manly
Gwendolin has no comments
Jasmine needs to study
Kelvin is missing
Zhi Peng is lost
Joni keeps changing Relationship status in facebook
Juncen is a sergeant
Richard likes to cry
who is Edmund
Marcus is a white meat ball
Geraldine is flying everywhere
Zhi li hacks game account
Joween earns 10k quarterly
Yilin is crazy
Huizhen sleeps at 10 O'clock
Xiuqi is hoppie
Shanwei talks to plant
Yile is my ex-lover
Desmond drinks 2 packet of milk a day
Shuan is training in SISPEC
Jeremy lost his phone
Jiamin wants Iphone
Zhongwei shakes his head when he knows about it
Benjamin is sick again
Kaimin speaks randomish
Jason i got something to pass you
Kangling is a nice girl
Gladys says she isnt a party animal
Jacqueline wants to beat me badly
Felicia buys and throws shoes
Pohmui cannot do 2 thing at 1 time
Maraget has bad breath
Kenny and Neo cant stop flooding my mailbox
Senera Tong says S-U-P-E-R S-L-O-W... AND SINGLES!
Maswadi is very fit
Ernest doesn't wanna pass me my fitness first goodies bag

Im Sorry people if i offended you! its just a game =)

ahh... i still got army friends haven write but i am so lazy already... lol...

Arban is HERE

2008-11-06T22:15:00.002+08:00

Arban is here! Arban is HERE! Arban IS HERE!!!

Yes! My Arban's Complete Conservatory Method for Trumpet Music Book all the from USA is HERE!!! YAY!!!

haha... i am just so happy! Its the first time i ordered something online from overseas and was shipped over! but the freight charges sux!

I did the first few pages exercises, and it really killing my lips already!

Trumpeter Paul in the Making! =)

Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet (Psalm 150 : 3)

22nd Birthday

2008-10-28T22:47:00.003+08:00

=(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

I spent 2 hours earlier on typing a really heart felt entry on my birthday! And i finally to add some photos before i post it... and when i was loading Derek's Photo.. My MOZILLA suddenly HANGS! and Become not responding! Blog spot didn't saved my last entry! ahhh!! I blame Derek!

and its 12am already! i am so sleepy...

Ok.. here i go again... but a shorter version...

So i finally came in front of my computer with a quiet heart, reflecting on my life and also reading past birthday entries. I realized i have apparently made the same wish for over 7 years!

From my 15 to 19 birthday, my birthday wish were all about "God, can i have a girlfriend this year?" and it went on for 5 years, then came year 2006, i was 20. "God, can i be with her?" was what i asked, and it repeated for year 2007, my 21st birthday, but with a broken heart and lost of hope.

Year 2008, 22nd Birthday. I finally asked for something different. Not that i have given up hope on BGR, but i see more important things in my life that i need to fulfill before other things can be in place. My wish this year no longer is just about me, what i want, what i need, what i think i deserve.

People say when you are 21, you will look at the world differently. I agree to whoever that said it. My perspective of life did changed, no longer i only care about myself but the circle is expanding towards others. Like is given in the new commandment. And so i made a different wish.

21st Life was one of my most fulfilling life, i will say Paul did well this year, gaining new skills, deeper knowledge and a closer walk with Jesus.

some things that happened...

-ORD
-Financial qualification in insurance
-Financial planning skill
-Bought a Trumpet to praise God
-Driving License
-Took my first step to be entrepreneur
-Regular in Sunday worship
-Starting serving in church
-Worked as temp
-Reconcile with Dad after 2 years of cold war (a lesson of forgiveness)
-Filially to Grandparents, visiting them weekly (a lesson of accepting love)
-Finally told her (a lesson of life)
-A happier Paul (a gift from God)

anyway, thanks to everybody that wished me happy birthday! and those that took their precious time to get a present. And grandma for cooking such a wonderful meal to celebrate with me.

This year, i feel blessed, that God is still there watching over me. Despite of my current family dispute, there was still a mini celebration for my birthday in my grandparents house, although not everyone turned up but those who are close to me did. Its been awhile since i really felt family closeness. Jesus didn't over look all these little things that is important to me.

Jia you, and made a bigger progress for 22nd year on earth.

Mummy's 43rd Birthday!

2008-10-26T10:53:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday Mummy!

And Thanks jO for pei-ing me shopping!

and wrapping the present! =)

MY WHOLE BODY ACHES LAH!

GYM IS FUN BUT HORRIBLE! =X

24 oct

2008-10-24T21:54:00.014+08:00

Today is 24th October! weee wee weee~ United Nation Day! WeeWeeWee! and TWO more days! WEEWEEEWWEE~ Mummy's 43 Birthday!!! yes.. and another TWO MORE DAYS!! WEEweeWEEweeWeEwEe~ weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

:) Smile!

Gym?

2008-10-16T21:41:00.006+08:00

Derrick the Naked was telling me about DWDs' secret Gym plan... Well... I am sorry but I guess its no longer a secret...

So Derrick, Wendy and Derek, the infamous DWD went to sign up for GYM! Of all, I think Derek won’t make it thru! This is about the fittest survive! haha...

I was thinking... actually.. its quite a good idea to take up gym for me too... since IPPT is coming... since everyone says I am pretty tiny in build...since i am looking for something new to try and since i am single! wahaha! ok.. nothing to do with single...

Ya lo... I told derrick if the DWD survived for this week, next week i am joining! it will become The DJ-WD! **Initials are rank according to SIZE,so we know which D is at the back**

Haha okay!

I hope on sat, everything is gonna be alright! Yes.. Have Faith! Even if its really tiny! Have Faith!

"Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

The mean thing, What is Life

2008-10-10T23:26:00.004+08:00

I was helping yilin with the stuff for coming mission trip, we went Ikea to do the shopping. For the evening, our conversation is mainly about "what purpose we have for doing the things we are doing now?"

And now i am home, upset over the fact i haven really get it myself too. Even though i think yilin might be thinking Paul knows what he is doing.

i was thinking really deep into the word call "Living"

I popped questions to myself that i cant really answer until i feel satisfied, but i do feel i am desperate to know all about it. Knowing it certainly will make a big different in my life and it can also become the source of inspiration and motivation.

and there... I was thinking about...

-What is my purpose in life?

- Why am I studying? Or working?

- Why am I worried about BGR?

- Why bother forming a family in future?

- Future? Is that something I should worry about?

- What is life exactly? Is there a standard to define life?

- How should this Life be lived till it’s to be called ‘worthy’?

Ya... Many Christians might say the purpose of life is to bring glory to God. Biblically Correct Answer. But bring glory to God? What does that mean exactly? What doings are defined as God glorifying and what is not? 10 commandments?

So i study, work, form a family so on and ya... is for glorifying God?

Non believers will say Christians are extreme insane living creatures... And if i am a non believer, i will undoubtedly be using the typical Singaporean word "Siao!"

Hey come on... We are living in world that is so realistic, so full of temptation. And Glorifying God seriously sounds so superficial. And a human in the so called "correct state of mind" will surely say "Wake Up LAR!"

Put in thoughts to the word call "Life".

Are you here just to spend your days as you like and finally in the end deserve your long waited Death Punishment? Are you gonna say "OH shit, i should have done this and that and this and that when i was younger" when all your hair are already white? Are you gonna die and reincarnate into an animal? Or join the thrilling fun of the 18th level of hell? And hail the Yama Kings? How about enjoying the BBQ grilling sensation of the burning fire in eternal hell? Or maybe play Harp and Trumpet with the angels on the clouds of heaven? Lastly maybe You can join the celestial court as a tiny deity and come their "Corporate Ladder" ?

Are you Born to Die? Is death really the end? Why so many religions are stressing on afterlife?

I am trying to make sense with what the bible teaches and what the world is telling me. There must be somewhere i could strike a balance and live what the bible teaches in a world that is realistic and full of temptation. I am sure there must be a way to make life fulfilling, that you know exactly what are you doing and whats is it for. I am searching and researching on these.

"Why am i here" will never be something i gonna ask myself again.

October!

2008-10-07T21:28:00.005+08:00

The Month of October has finally ARRIVED!

This is my favorite month of the year, and every year on October, there's lots of day which makes my happy =)

1st October - Children Day! Although its no longer my business, but i still feel very happy on every 1st Oct! haha... Dun forget about those orphans who need love!

3rd October - My best friend Dennis 's Birthday!

7th October - Its my sister Joey's Birthday! How i wish i could celebrate with her every year.. well..

24th October - United Nation Day! Not many are aware of this special day, we should remember it because of the contributions made by the UN and their peacekeeping force.

26th October - Paul's beloved Mummy birthday! The best mother award Winner.

28th October - The special day that God gave life to me... =)

31th October - Halloween Day! Where are the Jack-o'-lanterns, the pumpkins and the cosplayers?

Notice my mum's birthday and mine are just 2 days away? 27th is our Mother and Son Day. =)

isn't the month of October exciting?

well, October is also written as "shi" in Chinese, the same "shi" for "shi zhi jia"

I am praying for the on-going planning for coming October 18th, sungei riggit mission trip. I hope the children who turn up on that day will have a great great day.

And 19th i am going to visit my sisters after the mission trip! =)

Can there be 12 October in a year? Hahahaha.... Maybe 2 is also good... =)

Mother's Face

2008-09-26T22:42:00.004+08:00

Two entries in a day, i must be really boring...

But i just wanna write this down. Mummy accidentally injured her left eye when she rubbed it really hard due to some irritation. Tears kept flowing out of her eyes and her left eye was all red.

I went to look at it and access how bad the situation was, but something pierced my heart when i touched her face. My pretty mother is no longer that youthful anymore, her face is no longer that smooth and shiny. Its been a very long time since i remembered i touched her face, i could see winkles and spots on her tired skin. Even as her eye tears, she insisted to finish preparing dinner for me. She could take a break until her eye is better but she didn't, she knows that i am hungry... She rather bare with the pain in her eye than to let me feel hungry... You know that kind of feeling? You feel so loved but at the same time your heart is crying. Someone really love you so much that she is willing to sacrifice herself just for you.

She had never said in front of me how much she loves me, but her every action confessed it loudly. I really dunno how can i ever repay her kindness, i wanna learn that unfailing love.

I see God's Love demonstrated on her, and how i wish she can understand it and come to know Him.

Pray for her.

Abba Gold

2008-09-26T21:53:00.002+08:00

Guess what song i tried to play just now?

Abba Gold! haha.. Like damn oldies...

I feel like apologizing to my neighbors! I sounded damn horrible! 1st Trumpet score is really killing me! I am not surprise if i suddenly die halfway! And i am playing at 9PM! haha... i am so sorry neighbors!

Anyone that joins Band before in their school days will sure play this song before, ya? But i played the Horn for 9 years in my school days and seriously 1st Horn score compared to 1st Trumpet score is like so much easier! I am cracking all the high notes from High E and above! and My Abba Gold sounded seriously horrible! And the score goes as high as HIGH G! Gosh!

My High G sounded like i didn't shit for days and trying so hard to squeeze it out! =X

I am putting in more effort in playing the trumpet well, i wanna play those hymns beautiful. Anyone wanna teach me Music? Yiling are you reading this? I wanna find a trumpet tutor too, but thats when i got enough money to hire.

Anyway, the reason i "suddenly" played Abba Gold is because of the Movie Mama Mia. Xiao Ku keeps saying she wanna watch with me, and i dun think any of my friends will watch this type of show. I wanna watch it because i know many many many songs from that movie.

Another Anyway, work seems to be more and more busy! I still remember my colleagues telling me on my first day of work that its quite okay if i wanna surf the net or do some msn during work. I thought i will when i am free, but it seems that "when i am free" is not happening!

Another x2 Anyway, i made a new lifestyle plan for myself. So i am sorry if i turn anyone of you down for games. Its not that i don't like playing with you but i am trying to keep to my new schedule.

I am writing this down because i promise Shanwei to do her Blog this weekend! Ya.. Even if the sky collapsed, i will still get it done!

Lets wake up early tomorrow for a beautiful Saturday morning run!

Life...

2008-09-22T20:07:00.003+08:00

Somewhere 3 years ago, the first time when God invaded my life and made a total chaos, he made me lost interest in almost everything. I really hate it that time, because i was once so attached to this world and had chosen to abandon Him, My Abba Father.

Although from young i am exposed to church, Sunday school and all, born in a Christian family. Yet i never really understood who God is and worst of all, who is Jesus? i only knew Jesus was this guy from nowhere that got killed on the cross and suddenly resurrected after the third day of his death. Good for him i thought, but whats so great about that?

My faith started building up in my secondary school days, when i learned about the original Sin, the failure of Man and the consequences that impaired the relationship between God and Man. Yes, i did learn about Jesus too. And know Him just as what most people will say "Son of God, came to earth, according to God's will, died on the cross for us, resurrected after the third day." Good for Him, and Good for us. Thats what i said, but never really understood why did he even care to carry that cross and "suicide" himself. Why did he care to end his life for people that don't even care about him.

The journey of Faith is never easy, during the days when i thought i am knowledgeable of what the bible speaks, but thats also when i fall horribly deep back into this earthly world. A suddenly family diversion not only divided my family but my faith.

At that time i told God, i dont need you, you failed to show me whats so good in believing you. The bible fails to let Men live the way it should be. Then i left the church, i left God.

But God didn't leave me, he was merciful and graceful, in his time he allowed me to wander in the world he made for men, although corrupted but still there is hope for it. For 2 years, my life was without God. My family warred among each other, my grand parents fought with each other, 60 years of faith collapsed overnight. I told myself i will find a way myself to fix this family.

But one day in Dec of 2004, I suddenly flipped open that dusty bible that laid at the corner of my big study table for 2 years and cried as i tried to read it. I can still remember i cried, but why did i cried? i have no idea, and worst of all, i dun understand what i was reading!

That time was when the Tsunami took place, God gave me a spiritual Tsunami too, i cant really explain myself but its something unusual, i just felt my life back then was hopeless, and i failed to bring my family back as one. There were many other things that happened too, which all leads to the same thing. Losing Hope. I am tired of life.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

And once again God embraced me, and happy ending... plus a happily ever after~

ya right...

Sorry, its so "Christian" today, i am quite spiritually emotional recently. After Dr. Stephen Tong's Rally. He really made me wonder, Who is Jesus.

I am thinking i wanna join the evangelism work and do overseas mission. I mean i am planning for it, but i am not saying i am going into full time ministry. i just wanna spread the gospel.

I started counting how many people did i bring to God and receive Christ. I can count with my fingers! and i felt so sad and disappointed.

In insurance, we have sales script to present to our prospects. But when i tried to making the "sale script" of Gospel, i cant really say much. Rev. Ong sermon yesterday is really what God wanted me to hear.

"You don't necessarily have be to a Bright Shiny Light House to shine the light of Christ. A small candle will be bright enough to emit light that will brighten up a room in blackout"

And the bible says "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

I want to shine for Christ, at the same time i want to learn how to preach the gospel that pleases God and also study on the topic, Who is Jesus. When we think we know who Jesus is, the truth is we haven know him well enough...

I am starting off with a tiny candle, but bright enough to lead those who are lost....

pray for me.

So..

2008-09-16T23:24:00.004+08:00

I drank Meiji Milk Coffee! yes... Coffee... something that i dun usually drink...

Ah... i wanted to buy Chocolate milk and enjoy it while watching Bleach the Movie: The Diamond Dust Rebellion, Another Hyōrinmaru. I didn't realized its coffee until i took my first sip... I was like... Eh? Why this chocolate milk tasted so funny? Expired? then i looked at the bottle carefully... Meiji Coffee Milk! Well Done PAUL!

Anyway... i added Chocolate Ice cream and make it into Coffee Milk with Chocolate Float! Sounds yummy isnt it? YA RIGHT! I was like.. eh? its chocolate ice cream i added right? yes... its chocolate ice cream i confirmed... But... The milk tasted horrible... in order not to waste it... i "imagined" i am drinking chocolate milk and drank it! but half way i gave up... Ah.. Coffee really dun suits me~ Damn coffee milk that wasted 3 BIG Spoon of Chocolate ice cream!

Anyway... The horrible coffee experience didn't spoil my mood for the show... nearly 30mins of action at the ending, with everyone using their bankai and Ichigo with his hollow mask... aiya... bleach lovers just go get the show and watch it... i am planning to find time and re-watch again! this is how good the movie is.. i like it so much! thumbs up!

so ya... life is getting... i will say better? at least i like the feeling of "I DUN HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO PLAY GAME AND MY TRUMPET!" haha... I haven even started playing my Space Age Spore.. i think naked and cheong already dominated dunno how many planets... i guess CH also bah... and i dun even have time to blog about my Spore creation... but i will.. someday...

I also wanna blog about DR. Stephen Tong's Gospel rally the next time, which was held last week from 11th to 14th, i went all 4 sermons and really gained alot myself... and because of his sermon, i am now so inspired and wanna know more about God... i am coming up with a new life style schedule and goals and plan... Pray for me!

suddenly i realized my freaking blog like kinda not working properly... but i dun have front page installed after i formated my computer... and time is another problem... oh damn it..

anyway... in case you are reading... Naked-Chan... Happy 22nd Birthday!!!! my senses tells me you are in Zouk rolling on the dance floor with your naked body at this every hour... i think you are angry with my SMS this morning! hohohoho... forgive me because i am SLEEPY! We love you for being Naked!

lastly... well... i guess wine is really not my cup of "drink" too... i took wine yesterday.. ya.. for the first time more than like 100ml? hahaha... i usually take a few sip for show and pour away the rest... but guess what? something more horrible than being drunk happened! Its my stupid G6PD allergy... my body reacted to the wine and formed hives all over... The internet says people with G6DP deficiency should avoid red wine, but it stated only a minor will react to it... unfortunately i belongs to the minor group... haha... thank God i never like Wine... i might be in hospital if i drank the whole cup! But its okay... because i have insurance for hospital expenses!!!! HOHOHOH!

Just a little bit for Emo Tiny Paul... HZ triggered it again recently... but i think i am coping fine... thou i can feel some tiny bit of hatred in me towards her... but it should be fine... God will make a way for me...

Why do i waste my time on someone who is so significant in my life but i am insignificant in her life... Like HZ said... Get over it Dear BOY!

Its getting better!

2008-08-30T01:15:00.004+08:00

Alright... in case you are wondering... i am still alive!

Thing got better! Yes... BETTER!

I am now working for zebra company! so.. i feed the zebras and wash them everyday... I cut the grass too and clean their poopoo... www.zebra.com~ check it out!

ok... Actually its an admin job... my first admin job experience... and i love it! because i am filing papers non stop!

And my old man called me yesterday... its like almost 2 years huh? I WIN! because he called me first to ask hows life and all... and i am happy i win! and i am happy the long "Cold" war has ended...

nevertheless i wanna meet him someday... and maybe "scold" him! haha... i dunno... i am confused should i really forgive him yet? is a 2 years cold war enough? i really hope he wont take my kindness for granted...

anyway... i am still gonna hang around in the insurance industry! haha... i jumped ship to Great Eastern! but only as part time... Full time dun seems to work out for me... and my Old man said after i am enable to sell again... he wants to contract a group insurance policy for his company! FROM ME! oh well.. sounds great huh?

Maybe life is like a stock in the market.... at bad times it goes down and at good times it goes up... Paul's life stock seems to be picking up again after a bad down fall... Thank God =D

1st Resignation!

2008-08-18T22:20:00.002+08:00

Ok...

So its about 3 weeks, i resigned from Prudential... and i guess its final...

currently everything is still very messy... my plans... and what i am deciding to do... until Jan 2009... everything is out of place... well... but i will fix it... i am very sure i will...

What do i wan for Career? Why do i study Finance and Economic?

maddness

2008-08-15T14:19:00.002+08:00

Maddnessssss!

My World is about to collapse... I think paul is getting more and more "zai" but i really feel very bad for doing all these... yet i still wanna do it because i no longer wanna stay at the current state...

nvm.. just another unknown entry...

3rd of of work!

2008-08-04T22:01:00.002+08:00

So its already the end of 3rd day of work and my current income is still ZERO! yay!

haha... i wonder when will i close my first case? i hope its tomorrow... pls pls plsplsplspls!

But over these three days, i did made quite alot of friends~ and some who are top agents~

Road Show last Saturday was horrible for me... I was too nervous and afraid of approaching people... but slowly slowly... i start to get the hang of approaching girls~ especially when i see pretty girls! (in fact all the male agents rush for it!) haha... i mean u dun get a chance to approach chiobu and ask for their numbers on the streets anyhow right? but i am DOING IT NOW! hahaha... but not for the purpose of a girlfriend lar... but to date them! no.. i mean make an appointment with them! for a sales presentation! but it still feels good to talk to really pretty girls and get to know them! lolol...

i have this agent whom all his clients are female! and worst... my friends told me 90% of them are chiobu! He call it his "collectable" !!! Collect chiobu as clients! not a bad idea huh?

Work is tough... really tough... to talk to 1 to about 4 strangers on the streets, i find it so difficult... and now i imagine how did Jesus and the Apostles tried to preach to thousands and millions whom are strangers to them... Both hands up~

First Day of Insurance!

2008-08-01T22:22:00.003+08:00

So there... The First Day of Pest!

Alright.. today i am very tired... i never thought practicing sales scripts and memorizing products can be so bloody tired...

For the whole day, i just rehearse my sales script for ONE product over and over and over and over again~ i wanna make it prefect too~ at least what we call ZAI! when my seniors demonstrated how they present the sales script... i am so impressed... i really hope i can be like them sooner...

Tomorrow... i will start my first road show, based on that ONE sales script i have learned, and its only for just ONE product! hahahaha... its like just bringing only 1 full loaded magazine to war! i dunno am i ready for it anot... but i know my manager wants to push me to the limit...
I told myself... BRING IT ON! i am really really really curious of what ingredients did God used to cook me into fresh... It should be of utmost quality... So... I am just gonna stretch till i hit my limit!

haha.. i am not brainwashed... i just wanna see for myself how far can i go...

Agent Paul

2008-07-31T18:46:00.003+08:00

God... Its almost 2 months since my ORD... I am gonna start work tomorrow! My life for these 2 months revolves only around Dota, Ragnarok, Anime, Exams and Studying.... I feel rusty and dusty...

Good News... I finally passed all the bloody exams and done with all the long boring draggy wanna make me fall asleep seminars that it takes to become a legally certified financial consultant... out of 7 exams, i managed to pass 6 at the first try... failed HI once because the Jason fool told me its EASY!!! duhz~

Tomorrow.... Will be the day I'm turning into a pest... haha... why i say so... because... personally i feel that insurance agents are quite a pest... they do nothing but pester you to buy insurance! ahahaha! and I'm gonna become one of them! oh God...

If thats the case... why am i taking up a pest job? because i love to be a pest... just joking... because its the best job offer and the most flexible job for me... i can continue working after i starts school too~

Its a tough road ahead i believe... its already very tough to reach where i am now... many times i thought i should just pay the exam and training fees back to my company and quit.... =(

Whatever it is... i made some promises.... not to be profit driven... not to prospect friends and pester them to buy my insurance... not to be greedy and get blinded by money... not to be tempted by lust because there are really alot alot alooooooootttttt of pretty, cute, kawaii, hawt, sexy girls in my company~ Gosh!

Anyway... its just 5 months of my life i am investing... i told myself if i never try... i never know... here i am... trying a new career i have never ever thought i will be in.... will i be a survivor?

*There is no way she is reading this blog, its my reflection... if she had never walk into my life, i wouldn't even cross my mind of trying new stuff like these... i am glad that she taught me to try out new things that i never thought i will be doing.... *

D-Gray Man Allen's Piano

2008-07-20T15:34:00.004+08:00

Allen's Piano - The Musician's Score

Isnt the piece beautiful? i just couldnt stop listening to it after i watched the D-gray Man on TV last friday! how i wish i could play the piano~ =(

i lost my phone...

2008-07-11T18:02:00.000+08:00

I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...
I LOST MY PHONE...

I M VERY SAD!!!! =(((((((((((((((((((

Changing Point

2008-06-29T00:54:00.002+08:00

Monday to Wednesday, Goal Setting Seminar In Malaysia JB...
Thursday, Revision for M5 Exam...
Friday, M5 Exam...
Following week... 5 days HI Course followed by HI Exam...

Busy Weeks ahead.... and i haven finish studying M5... i am be hide schedule...

come on... Just Pull Thru! ahh.... so tough... i am really stressed...

I found my answer to what is life... Its a Test, a Trust and a Temporary Assignment...

Will i pass the Test? Will i break the Trust... Will i do well this assignment?

And there goes my MIA...

I got a feeling Summer is near....

i love YUI!

2008-06-24T18:17:00.005+08:00

No doubt she is the same YUI that sang Rolling Star and Life for Anime Bleach! and i really like her alot especially her voice! Tomorrow's Way is my favorite among her song, i just find it really nice...

Simple and Talented girl.. i bet any guy will fall in love with her singing....

My Life, My Destiny

2008-06-18T14:43:00.004+08:00

Here its round 3! To qualify and join Peter Tan Organization (PTO)

I thank God for his love and guidance... thank God for allowing me to pass my interview, and thank God that i was selected after the selection camp held last Saturday. And there.. Round 3! An examination... Clara told me its easy... but somehow i still feel a little pressurize.

I sat in front of my computer staring into my wallpaper as usual... and i started thinking about "life".

Have you seriously thought about what is your life and what is your destiny? What plans had God prepared for you?

I imagined myself being the greatest bank robber and running away from a thousands of police on the chase with a trunk loaded with nothing but cash!... how does it feels?

I imagined myself being a business typhoon, having almost everything this world can afford and everything that money can buy... how does it feels?

I imagined myself being a holy man, preaching God's word to a million in a seminar... how does it feels?

I imagined myself being a ruler of a country, and caused the country to go on strikes and riot! hahaha! how does it feels? =)

I imagined myself being a father of twenty children, and my children grew up and entered different vocations... like Minister, Educator, Entrepreneur, Bank robber, Preacher and Chairman of a Global Scam Associate! how does it feels?

There are more that i imagined... and mostly very extreme and crazy dreams... and its somehow true to me... life should be crazy and extreme i guess... Its the most beautiful and wonderful creation by God!

So live it extraordinary!

but the question is HOW? thats what i am asking God and myself.... i want it to be extraordinary =)

Stare at me

2008-06-13T20:12:00.002+08:00

i was walking back from bedok after my haircut and half way a Malay guy who is at his twenties suddenly stopped me... and he asked why did i tried to stare at him? He had a orange dyed hair, many piercing all over his body, and Tattoos too.. and he is a cripple... but he isn't brother Mas which i can assure you...

For a moment i was like asking myself... Did i even looked at him? This is gonna be my first staring incident... i whispered to God for help... haha....

"Hey boy... Why you look at me just now?"

"Did i? If i did, i wasnt staring you..."

"Then you see what? which school you from?"

"erm... i am no longer schooling..."

"Huh? What? No school? then what you doing?"

"I just completed NS, i am looking for a job right now..."

"Huh? Oh.. How old are you?"

"22..."

Then his attitude kinda changed to less "beng", i think its because maybe he realized it better not to try anything funny on a NSman huh? And i am not those Secondary or Poly kids who are his easy target?

Then its kinda weird... since he changed his tone of speech and we are walking the same way, we ended up chatting! LOL... He stayed 2 blocks behide me...

i asked him what happened to his leg? he said he once got into a fight and he jumped from SIX FLOOR! wow... cant you believe that? He said some "bad guys" came to his level and created havoc, so he challenged them and pushed and fall from the six floor!

Then he was telling me to go to his block dunno where and see dunno what... but he was like trying to tell me there were evidence of his remarkable fall that was left behide till today... "Interesting huh?" i told myself...

Then we came to the coffee shop below my house and we were about to go separate ways, he asked if its okay if i lent him 50 cents? but i did not have any coins with me so i offered $2... but he didnt wanna accept it and insisted i change the note to 50cents at the coffee shop, because he only wanted 50 cents....... How Interesting.... haha... so i did as i was told and kept the other $1.50 with me.. he said he will return if he sees me again... hahaha....

Its really a very interesting encounter... For one moment i thought am i gonna get into a fight? and the next moment we are chatting and walking back home like friends... hahaha...

The coffee uncle looked at me hard when i passed him 50 cents... He must be wondering why am i giving 50 cents to the Malay guy?

anyway..... i am getting kinda emo recently.... maybe its becoz i am too free? i should be really happy or perhaps overjoyed this week... Because firstly, i got my driving license this week... Secondly, i ORDed and got my Pink IC this week... Thirdly... I got myself a DPA phone this week... no more lousy crappy phone... and fourthly i got a job this week too... but i dunno... i just cannot really cheer up... =(

She said it was appreciated, but i dunno why i doubt it... it seems like it had become a habit of me to treat her really nice... even if i know i will get nothing in return but heartache? sometimes i just hate myself for being like this... can i kick this bad habit away? maybe i should have waited longer before we started contacting again? i knew i wasnt ready enough to meet her, but i went ahead and took the risk.

i dun really understand what i want for putting in so much effort.... neither i understand is she a friend to me or just someone i once loved and should be forgotten and erased from memory?

ORD LOH!

2008-06-09T23:47:00.006+08:00

10th of June 2006, 7am in the morning... The Damn annoying alarm clock rang! and there goes Tiny Paul into his National Service...

Still remembered that morning i was so damn tired and i really felt like... "Can i don't report to tekong?" hahaha... still remembered the night before was Xiuqi's 17th birthday celebration and i obviously came back quite late... and my old man drove me to pasir ris to report...

The Basic Military Training Camp, School One, Falcon Company, Platoon Four!

I reported to Tekong alone, when everyone else had their parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, maids, pet dogs and hamsters that came with them.

Lonely as i was, filled with uncertainly and fear, was pushed with the rest into this big auditorium for the Oath-Taking Ceremony and it was there i pledged my life to the country...

And after you taken the Oath, you are officially a property of SAF and you are called a "Recruit!"

Blur as i was, with the rest as blur as me, we took our belongings after the oath taking and went to our respectively Company. I was in Falcon Company and I thank God that he put me there.

I will never forget that moment when the fat auntie took out the shaver and started shaving my hair off and i had to pay $2 for that! There goes my hair, in both black and orange colour.... BOTAK was then my new nick.... and I will also never forget having to bath with no doors and having 10 fellows be hide queuing up to bath and watching me bathing at the same time!

The Arm presentation night was another remarkable experience, it was the first time in my life that i touched a real weapon that will be protecting my life and my country... although up till today, i still feel that night i was holding a toy gun! =X

Then came the 7 Days field Camp! well... i did not shit in the wild! but it dun mean i didn't shit for 7 days like ZHI XIONG! And the experience of NOT bathing for 7 days was SO COOL! we smelled like dead rats and i believed our enemies will just be killed by our smell and we will win the war.... having to replace showering with powdering was so fun! Everyone was striped till the last piece.. and SOME DUN EVEN WEAR THAT LAST PIECE! and we spam powder on ourselves like its free... yeah... and its kind of fun to powder your buddies too! its a scene of Naked Men in the "Cloud"!

And having to put on the greeny camouflaged cream on my face for 7 days! i felt like i put on a 7 days MASK! Green Tea mask? Sleeping/Resting in the wild was also "exciting", you see ants and unknown insects crawling just next to you... and Andy the SOTONG KING even had a centipede crawled up to his neck before we discover it! His life was SAVED! Cant imagine what will happen if it bit him... And Wild Boars! Tekong seriously got alot of them! and they always steal my food!

And then came the 1st in my life longest walk ever... the 24KM route march! haha... But to speak the truth... i really enjoyed it. Especially the times when you see your fellow platoon mate gonna fall out and be hide were some ten men trying to hold him and encouraged him not to give up but battle till the end... that kind of spirit was marvel... Although at the end of the march i thought i left my legs somewhere in the forest... but i believe all of us loved the march! right Falcon FOUR?

And before we knew it... Its time for POP! When Mummy put on the ugly green cap on my head! i was overjoyed yet sad because of my dearest section three! we made such great bondings and its sad that we have to depart... but life goes on... and onwards Tiny Paul marches...

Tekong was my best NS experience, and i certainly loved Falcon the White Horse Company! and her Platoon 4 Section 3 so much! that i even wrote a blog entry about my section once before... CLICK HERE!

My Buddies... Keyuan, QingLin & Xiong Zhi the never for the 7 Days!

School of Infantry Specialist (SISPEC) [Suffer in Silence, Plus Extra Confinement]

I was posted to be trained as a sergeant... This was the saddest life in NS for me, because i was in Charlie Company... The most SIONG company in SISPEC during my days... It was the first time i felt like crying in my bunk... because i felt so lonely and was treated like a dog... seriously... the instructors shout at us like we dun have a father and mother and we were always in that "pumping" position...

Every morning i will wake up at 5am, and load on my FULL BATTLE ORDER with camo cream on and rifle and began a tiring sequence of training and fire movements... Super tiring... and keep on getting f**ked by the instructors... life was pathetic.. but i was the fitness then... due to the super crazy training...

Ex. Gypsy and Wanderer were fun experience, it was the first time i was threw with 3 other as blur as me buddies in the forest and having only to rely on the outdated map and not working properly compass to find our way! Very interesting yet very tiring...

And not forgetting the finale... Exercise Grand Slam! i consider it very siong.... maybe because i am in charlie.... before the sun breaks the dark, we were out for mission... and all day long mission after mission never ending mission until its total darkness again... but we dun get to sleep even its total darkness at night, we did sentry duties and protect our harbour from "enemies" attack... or more for Wild Boar attacks! i only remember i was dead tired after the exercise....

Then came the 28KM graduating route march... well... back then i was a lot fitter already... the 28km seems no kick to me! and i had no muscle ache after the march also! ZAI LEH!

And thats the end of my SISPEC training... i made very little friends there... i believed its the same for everyone... we were always tired... there was no time for chit chat and no time to know each other better... we just chiong and chiong all day and night... and everyone was really selfish then... including myself...

Signal Institute...

I was posted to be trained as a signal specialist after i completed my basic leadership training in SISPEC. Life there got better and Tiny Paul started to smile again... But all i really remembered was studying... and studying and more studying... suddenly there was very little of psychical requirement! And Tiny Paul certainly loved it! can slack ar!!!

I worked pretty hard in SI, because i knew if i managed to be the top few % in my platoon, my unit posting will be pretty good... and well... i landed myself in 4th in the platoon.. juz 1 more position away from getting the Silver Bayonet... My greatest regret... but i still got 2 awards which are the Best Knowledge and Best Endurance.

The 16KM route march at ECP was memorable... its the best route march even ... Windy.. Nice... Plus got pretty girls to see! hahahahaha!

And Ex. SUMMAX was fun! i remembered back then i was so PRO with all the knowledge of all the signal equipment!

and finally the Graduating 32KM Self-Topo Route March! The 1st team that completes the march will be awarded the best endurance team! and i was in that team! The march was self-topo... because i will turn into a Sergeant after i graduated, so there is a requirement to be able to navigate the way... Thank God we didnt lost our way like some other teams and we managed to complete it the fastest!

113 Squadron

I guess God really loves me... he put me into a 8 to 5 vocation... which so many NSF dream of it... and many tried to hurt themselves just to downgrade and join the 8 to 5 family...

Well... i wont say much about my unit as i am not suppose to... but what kind of exciting stuff can happen for a 8 to 5 vocation? its very office politics for 8 to 5 vocation....

and i am very tired after typing so much... hahahaha!

ORD LOH! 2 years is over!

But did Tiny Paul turned into a MAN?

i believed he did... *wink*

2008-06-05T23:02:00.001+08:00

And yes... Its World Environment Day today!

Are do doing anything to save Gaia from dying out too fast?

Job?

2008-06-05T22:45:00.002+08:00

4 Days to ORD... Still undecided on what job to take...

3 interviews waiting, but all the 3 jobs i dun really like...

Meet up with a pretty lady in the evening, she is an insurance manager... she wanted to recruit me into her team... to be frank... i wish to try it out... and see whats so good about being an insurance adviser? yet... i am confuse because i dunno if its really the path God wants me to take?

Join the norm and be a slave to be economic? Try something different and see if you are made for it? i cant really make it my mind...

The whole world might hate me if i take up the insurance challenge... or i might hate the whole world because i turned into a slave for this world... which way will it be? ahh... make up your mind!

Remain in my Comfort Zone? or Try something out of it?

Jesus... i cant see anything in front! too dark! Mind turning on the light my lord?

Just another day...

2008-05-25T22:37:00.002+08:00

nothing much to write about... but just another random entry without planning...

Next week will be my 2nd last week in NS... and its also the Change of Command Ceremony week for my unit~ well... really its time for New Leadership... though i have no chance to experience the change, but i wish all the regulars and my comrade in the unit the best!

Have you done anything for the Myanmar Cyclone and Sichuan Earthquake? Dun tell me you didnt even pray for them and enjoyed your weekends? God must have a reason for allowing such tragedy to happen, but nevertheless we witnessed the Wraith of God and must learn to appreciate and treasure people around you.

MercyRelief is the local agency set up to aid in events of such unfortunate, i am not doing any advertisement for them, but if you still dunno what on earth happened, do check it out...

And i finally formatted my PC after 5 years! how did i managed to keep my PC alive and running without breaking down for 5 years? i know of friends who cant even keep a computer alive for 1 month... i dunno what she did... haha... but it feels really empty on my computer now.... but i love the speed =) i only need 3 seconds to shutdown =D

Do pray for me, for my job... still haven found one and its 2 weeks more to ORD! i am not gonna Rot there!

And recently i think i am putting myself in a very dangerous position,
i dun think anybody will understand what on earth i am saying... but i hope it will not repeat... and i will do anything to prevent it from entering the virtuous circle again...

Tagged by Mui

2008-05-06T19:47:00.002+08:00

Tagged by Mui~

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
Ideally 26, but before 30 i guess...

2. How many children do you want?
I tot of this question before! THREE! 2 Boys 1 Girl will be prefect!

3. What I want the most now?
If you are really talking about NOW... i really wish to secure a 6 months Job!

4. What do you want to be when you grow up?
This question is so tough... i wanna be a good friend, a good boyfriend, a good husband, a good father, a good grand father, a good great grand father, a good worker, a good manager, a good boss if i managed to be one, and a good human! =p

5. If you can have 1 more dream to come true, what would it be?
Peace and Love in my family... i really hope they can be more forgiving and understand one another...

6.What are you afraid to lose now?

Nothing, because i have nothing.

7. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
Of coz! but it will usually take me a long long long long time before i manage to do it...

8. What would you do when you're feeling down and depressed?
Cycling or Jog to East Coast Park, then sit on the big stones and have a really good time with God. Alternative, talk to someone i really trust...

9. What are the requirements that you wish from other half?
Definitely not a Geek? haha...

a very long list! here you go...
- Sweet looking but dun have to be super chio type
- She dun need a super hot figure, but cannot be too fat...
- A Heart of Gold! yes... nuth lesser than that..
- The ability to make me smile when i look at her, even when times are tough..
- Dun need a very high pitch or super sweet voice, but good enough to captivate my attention!
- Oh Yes... Short than 164CM! and Born after 1986! Its a Must!
- Believe in what i believe =)
- And yes! Dress sense! Girls with no dress sense must be born in Moon and not Earth...
- ok.. i better stop here... else its never ending...

10. Which type of person do you hate most?
I will learn and work my way to love them...

11. Do you cherish every single of your friendship?
Of coz i do...

12. Do you believe in god?
I will say i belong to Him...

13. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My Faith...

14. Do you find it a necessary for you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
At current, i do like to have one.... but talking about if its necessary? i will say no... why? because i cant promise her anything yet...

15. What do you want your friend to be like?
Can i really choose them? i want all friend girls to be as cute and pretty and sweet like Hikari, Hebe, Ariel and Genie! and all my guy friends be to LESS handsome, adorable and charming as ME! WAHAHA!

ok... serious... i juz want them to build our friendship based on pure heart and nuth lesser...

16. If God allow you to choose the family and background before you are born, what will it be like?
I dun really wanna be born again in this family, just a family that is in one piece is enough for me, regardless of wealth etc....

17. If you have a change, which part of your character would you like to change?
The kiddish inner me perhaps...

18. If you're feeling low one day, who will you go to?
Huizhen

19. If you can turn back time, when and why?
This question will only make me think of unhappy events~ not answering!

20. What do you most fear?
God's Judgment

Instructions: Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions. Then tag 8 people in your links list at the end of the post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

I'm bad so I'll tag all the 8 people as mentioned:
Jody
Yiling
Derek
Derrick
Lynnette
Gladys
Kangling
Xiuqi

Driving?

2008-05-02T01:41:00.002+08:00

Do you... actually i didn't wanna stall the car so much... just somehow.. i dunno why... i am still stalling the car at least 1 every lesson...

i really wanna drive well... and i know i am not a lousy driver... haiz... so sian... for some reason i cant focus well after about an hour of driving... my lesson last 1 hr 30 min... the last 30 mins usually is where i will made all my mistakes~

well.. added some new stuff to this blog... have fun...

and i need a job real soon...

Idea Girlfriend?

2008-04-28T20:36:00.006+08:00

Well.. Off Day can sometimes be really boring... having too much time might not be a really good thing =p

I was kinda boring... so i ended up doing some girlfriend and relationship online quizzes~ haha..

Quiz: What Kind of Girls Do I attract?

For 60 % you are: You are a sweetheart! You are cute and romantic. Girls love someone so sweet and sensitive! You will attract girls who love poetry and fine arts. So go for the star of the drama club or that student teacher. Those girls will think you're a girl magnet!
17.16 % of 25788 Quiz participants had this profile!

Ok.. remember this line... "You will attract girls who love poetry and fine arts"

Then For Quiz... Which Girl Likes You?

For 38 % you are: Preps or Girlie Girls like you. You are popular and outgoing. Girls see you as cool and they usually like you. They may like you as just a friend or they may have a crush on you. But not one of them really can't stand you. Lucky for you, it's easy to tell that they like you because they either tell you somehow or they flirt a lot. Good job.

Ok... So Preps or Girlie Girls will like me huh? Remember the word Preps...

And Then......

Crap... GEEKS!!!!!!

It started with Girls who like poetry and fine arts... Then Preps... and then GEEKS!! lol... am i suppose to have a girlfriend that wears a 1000 Degree Spec.... with that everything tide together hair and a super horrible dress sense??

How about this?

GEEKSSSSS!!!

Oh horrible... Never do online quiz when you are bored...

However.. there is something i find it closer to the heart...

With your 70 % you are: You like the "everyday" kind of girl. She is an All-American girl...loves going to the beach, eating hot dogs and watermelon, shopping, and most of all having fun. She enjoys Starbucks and her favorite pasttime is watching baseball. 67 % from 30313 test takers had this profile!

But you have almost become this:
With your 20 % you are: You like the "brainiac" kind of girl. She's really into her school work and she enjoys going to Starbucks and having intellectual conversations with you. She stimulates your mind in ways you've never been stimulating before.

But still i am not convince by the results... especially Geeks of all types...

yet again... no matter how "she" is going to look like.. or what "type" is "she"... If its arranged by God, i think it will be the best match for me... but of coz.. every guy got their dream girl ya?

But at least i know she got to have a kind heart and the power to make me brighten up even when times are bad~

and yes Jo... i started to appreciate single hood more and more rather by being impatient...

But somewhat i hope my girlfriend will look like Hikari Mitsushima... more or less~

Tagged?

2008-04-21T23:11:00.002+08:00

tagged by jo and mui... maybe got somemore...

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and post their names, then goes to their blog and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and ask them to play and read your blog.

5 THINGS I WAS DOING TEN YEARS AGO

-Ten years ago's today is a Tuesday, Its My PSLE Year, 1998...

1) Play marble during recess time!
2) Take a quick glare at the girl i like when i pass her class!
3) Say "Oh Shit!" because i never do my chinese homework!
4) Tuesday got band after school!!! i remembered that!
5) Visit the Eco Garden after school and find that turtle i used to play with!

5 THINGS ON MY TO-DO-LIST TODAY
1) Go for Driving Lesson in the afternoon
2) Buy Chocolates!
3) Write my Resume
4) Listen to music
5) Play Dota with SH and Naked at night~

5 GIRLS THAT I ADORE
1) Mummy
2) Granny
3) Huizhen
4) Jo & Mui
5) Yiling
6) got alot more... but here only 5...

5 OF MY BAD HABITS
1) Bite my clothes when watching anime/tv...
2) I dun make my bed after i wake up!
3) i dun wash my plates unless told to...
4) My table must be messy at all times...
5) i like to sleep alot...

5 THINGS I'D DO IF I COULD CHANGE THE WORLD

1) Install a big Air-Con for Singapore!
2) Takeover OPEC and make OIL FREE!
3) Remove all Languages in this world! All Human will speak in Music! and we only read Musical Notes~
4) Make all weekdays to 12 hours and all weekends to 72 hours!

5) And... create a new Global Law, which is... all Human must sleep 12 Hours a day! Compulsory!

5 PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1) Bedok North Ave Blk 408
2) Bedok North St Blk 420
3) Tampines St 21 Blk 201A
4) Chai Chee Rd Blk 20
5) Malaysia JB... i dunno the name...

5 PEOPLE I TAG

1) i very Kind... if u read this... u are in... *wink*

Beef Patty!

2008-04-20T22:21:00.003+08:00

Mummy just bought me a Botak Jones Burger!! and YES! finally i am eating SOLID FOOD!

I ate the Beef Patty minus the Fries coz its too hard ~.~ but still... its damn fulfilling! i am damn happy now!

Mummy is the best! =D

Chew Chew Chew!

2008-04-18T02:31:00.002+08:00

I long forgotten the feeling of chewing food...

i wanna chew meat! yes... something like a medium tenderloin steak!

How about potato chips?

And i miss RICE LAR! like my fav chicken rice...

I tried chewing fish... but everything just got stuck in those "Holes" left be hide by the wisdom tooths~ and its so uncomfortable!

And the surgeon damn lousy... she never stitch my gum properly... now when i try to chew... i CHEW the Stitch Thread Too! its dangling in the mouth lar!!! So horrible!

Ahh... i am going crazy! i need to chew! and i need to chew meat! ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye Wisdom Tooth!

2008-04-16T20:24:00.003+08:00

Ok... 15th Apr 2008 was Goodbye Wisdom Tooth x4 Day for Paul!

My operation is supposed start at 11am+ but i reached Alexandra Hospital at 10am! damn kiasu! haha... they made me wear a very ugly "kimono", which was actually their surgery clothes... and i felt like i was wearing long skirt.. or maybe a dress... so horrrible... haha...

Then came my turn! i went into the Operation Theatre... and It really looked like those you saw on TV! With big round and bright shiny lights hanging on top of the bed... tons of machines surrounding the bed... wires hanging here and there... even the "beeping" machine was there... i could hear it beeped every time my heart pumped! and of coz... those "scary tools" on the table huh? the atmosphere was creepy...

haha.. Something like that.. so

Then the nurse did the IV injection on me.. well.. i always enjoy being dripped.. coz it feels cooling! haha!

My operation was to remove 4 wisdom tooths at one go! so i was put under General Anesthesia (GA)... when the nurse said she gonna put me to sleep... she gave me an oxygen mask to breath... well.. pure 100% oxygen felt cooling in the lungs! then i saw her changed my IV to the GA chemical tube... and she said its gonna be a bit painful..

yes true... i felt the chemical crawling up my left arm, its like they were invading my left arm so quickly... i felt the spiky pain coming from the tube... i was trying to tell myself "DUN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES TOO SOON!" but before i could actually finish telling myself to stay awake and test my resistance to the chemical... well... the next thing i felt someone moving around my bed, so i opened my eyes a little... A nurse was doing something to me on my bed... "am i in the middle of the operation?" i asked myself.... and she noticed my eyes were opened... then she said "The operation is over, you are now in the recovery ward... are you feeling ok?" WAT!!!!!!!!!

she caught me crying... and kept telling me not to cry! lol... but i cant control it... my right eye kept tearing... and my nose was bleeding also... haha... so horrible...

but wat the hell... that was too fast lar! but my head was spinning like mad... so i closed my eyes and went back to sleep... feeling pain in my gum and jaw... i dun even know they moved me to another bed already... haha... i could only remember i was dreaming... dreaming about my trumpet and about band... hahaha...

Well... the after effect of GA really kills me... my head continued to spin for the next 2 hours until about 3pm... and every 30 mins the nurse will come and help me clean my mouth... and yes... it a bloody mouth... i didn't even know those sticky stuff in my mouth isn't saliva but blood... the 1st time i spitted... i was shocked... red fresh sticky blood! LOL.. disgusting..

later i felt alot better and Jody came to pick me back home~

still not used to the way i am eating now... i miss biting... my house's blender machine became my best friend... i blend everything and drink them.. from porridge to macaroni and even fish! lol~

its not really painful as of now already... but its uncomfortable for sure... but thank God everything is ok... i have no swelling on my face too.. no porky pig face on Paul =D

Black Day!

2008-04-14T19:17:00.002+08:00

FYI

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Black Day (April 14) is an informal tradition for single people (a.k.a. Unit Solo/Solo Regiment, Korean: 솔로부대) to get together and eat noodles with black bean sauce in South Korea, sometimes a white sauce is mixed because those celebrating the Black Day didn't experience the White Day.

The idea is that those who didn't give or receive gifts on Valentine's Day or White Day can get together and eat Jjajangmyeon (짜장면), white Korean noodles with black bean sauce (hence the name), to commiserate their singledom.

And well... SYF 2008 outdoor band is finally over... looks like my Saturdays will be unoccupied by band... isnt it great? Ping Yi got a Silver Medal this year... although we aimed for a Gold... but its good good enough... what do you expect from a band with 60% Sec 1s and an injured Drum Major on the competition day? You guys are already Winners! =)

And tomorrow is goodbye wisdom tooth day! oh man... i cant imagine for the next 1 week i will not enjoy food! and the dentist said my case quite complex... need to cut open the gum and drill!!! >.<

anyway... all the best to myself! i will really miss not playing Velle for the next 1-2 weeks!

Velle

2008-04-09T02:23:00.005+08:00

Bach 180S-37 Stradivarius Professional Trumpet

Yes alright... i bought my trumpet finally... and yes... i love her lots... i named her Velle... the V comes from Varnish, as she had a splendid finish... smooth, shiny silver on her... the trumpet glows~ the "elle" from Belle, a beautiful and attractive lady. so Velle.. =)

I am supposed to be overjoyed with Velle but on the same day something unfortunate happened... my granny was hospitalized... she is alright now... but still requires to stay in the hospital until further notice...

I am sad over the reason she was hospitalized... i am not gonna tell the whole world the reason cause even i am not too sure of the whole story... but it just reflects so badly on my family... and i am ashame of it... and i think it will really hurts if i know the truth...

i cant really explain the feelings and emotions i am going thru now... but certainly it isnt easy to bare... i will be visiting her everyday... she told me she is very lonely.... i almost cried in front of her... And i hope God will have mercy on this family...

April Fool!

2008-04-01T18:43:00.002+08:00

My April Fool Joke...

I failed my IPPT TODAY! OMG! i totally screw up the whole thing! i was attempting for Silver as i already passed... who knows i drop to FAIL! omgomgomg... i still cannot believe it! LOLOL!

gonna work realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hard MAN!

I guess it is God's best April fool joke for me...

Music?

2008-03-21T20:19:00.002+08:00

Just finished La Corda d'Oro anime, so moved by the story... is like i fall in love with classical music again!

And do know you whats the meaning of Corda? It means Strings in Italian.

A little bit about myself... just feelings boring on the most meaningful Friday of the year huh?

still got Coffee Prince, Honey and Clover, Death Note, Ouran High and quite a few movies to finish watching... seems like i downloaded and borrowed from friends faster than i can finish watching...

lately i start to feel that i get annoyed and angry pretty easy, like i am shouting at my mum quite frequently... it is so bad... maybe is because i started to play dota again and i keep losing and losing, maybe is because i am quite lost in what to do next as ORD is approaching, maybe i am back to quite a lost sheep again?

read from somewhere, cold and darkness does not exist, cold take place when there is not enough heat and darkness when there is no light. Evil when the present of God is absent.

What about anger? absent of something? love? beats me...

but nevertheless, i think of music, hymns and praises to keep me calm... i wonder whats wrong with me again?

anyway its already 3 months huh? but isnt it better than back then?

i bet nobody understands this entry...

Piano No Mori

2008-03-16T22:04:00.003+08:00

Piano No Mori, an animated movie based on a Piano in the Forest.

You got to watch this if you truly loved music and of cause the piano! Lots of very wonderful pieces played, like classical piece ranging from Mozart to Chopin.

It talks about Kai, a kid from a poor family that could not afford a piano less the piano lessons, but found a broken piano in the woods near his home and started playing it since he was three. And Amamiya, a kid from a famous pianist and is classically trained.

Amamiya hates the piano but because of his family prodigy, he got no choice to be train hard and become a Pianist. Kai in the other hand loves his piano in the forest and playing it is fun to him.

As the story develops, Amamiya learned from Kai about his point of view in music and piano, and gain new perspective towards it. The both later compete themselves in a national piano competition.

If you watched the sucky off spin of death note, L changed the world, you will also find a familiar voice in the show. The little girl of the professor which was infected by the virus but also had the antidote in her body. Her real name is Mayuko Fukuda, she is also voicing in Piano No Mori as Takako Maruyama, the Toilet Princess!

Oh well... i just liked the show so much after watching it... how i wished i got a chance to touch that piano when i was young... maybe i will be playing that Mozart's Piano Sonata Köchel 301 too!

and ya... i wanna recommend this anime to my friends who like music and take music as a passion. La Corda d'Oro!

White day!

2008-03-14T22:02:00.003+08:00

today is White Day~

Where is the white chocolates and marshmallows and white roses?

Wouldn't it be nice to take some time off and prepare something for your love ones on this special and forgotten day?

i am sure it would be...

Trumpets

2008-03-09T21:54:00.005+08:00

oh no... after the concert i went on Saturday... and actually before that i was already thinking... since a French horn is really that expensive to own one.. and the French horn is actually quite meaningless to play and practice without a band...

so so so... i was actually thinking of getting a trumpet instead =p Can play solo and there are lots of trumpet solo out there and i also know how to play it anyway... just that now my embouchure might be bad right now... need to train...

i got 2 choices in my mind right now... but both is Yamaha! i dunno why i like Yamaha more than Bach...

The Yamaha TYR-6345GS Professional Trumpet!

Its about 2.2k SGD! >.<

VS

The Yahama TYR-4335GS Intermediate Trumpet!

Which is about 1.2k SGD!

Its a total of about 1k different... but dun really wanna spend a lot but i hope to get a good trumpet so in future i wont start regretting the sound when i can better play it...

JASON!!! i am waiting for you to save up for your auto sax! we buy together and practice together =P

Fort Canning

2008-03-05T20:03:00.018+08:00

One day... Two lunatics decided to climb the famous War Fortress of Singapore during the World War II, The Fort Canning.

And so... The intruders moved in...

The entrance of the deadly fortress... Guarded by the Loyal Imperial Guards...

The Two Lunatics sneaked their way into the deadly fortress... Secretly... Undetectable by the Loyal Guards...

The two lunatics camouflaged themselves against the wall...

But the Loyal Imperial Guards are not stupid, the two lunatics were spotted and a fierce battle took place, partial of the Guards were wounded by the deadly spell casted by the lunatics. The Great hand of Zeus!

Then the Lunatics casted their fatality move, The Leap of the Year!!! which almost wiped out the thousands of Loyal Imperial Guard involved in the gory battle.

Leaving a minor of the guards be hide... fleeing for their lives... the rest... dead...

The Lunatics claimed their glorious victory on the enemy's territory...

The King's most precious nut that came all the way from Ice Age was stolen...

Victorious are the Lunatics...

Cheers!!!

And there they disappeared... Never to be found... But the Legend goes on...

THE END. . .

Horn~

2008-02-27T21:13:00.002+08:00

The horn, one is the world's oldest musical instrument, existed around 122 BC!

Yes, i am so in love with horn! and it is a love that started since i was 8 years old!

Remember those days in primary school, it was one day when we all had to join "ECA" and everyone is fascinated by all different ECAs. From Uniform Groups to Clubs and Sports Team. I was one of the sotong there that didn't know what to join.

Actually the band wasn't my choice, i wanted to join the badminton club and i was also selected after the "trial" game with the seniors. But why did i ended up in band?

I used to mix with Malay Friends when i am younger, and i can speak simple Malay! =) and because none of my friends joined any other ECA but Band... So the blur tiny Paul also went with the group and i gave up badminton because the practice schedule crashed with band practice. But guess what? after one year, all my friends quit!

Instead of quitting, i found myself in love with band music! back then i was just a cornet player and i dream to be in the percussion section! but my conductor transfered me to the horn section! i was so disappointed then and felt like quitting...

But who knows... after awhile i started to like these crazy spinning curvy instrument call the French Horn! its amazingly round and produce a sound thats so smoothing~

Primary 4, 5, 6 then came Secondary! yes joined the band again! but that time i was hoping if i can get to play another instrument... My dream section... the percussion section! but no... i was throw to trumpet! but thanks to some big mouth seniors who told my conductor i can play the horn... so back to horn ya...

then secondary 1,2,3 and 4... then poly... FRENCH HORN FTW! SO HORNY HUH?

Now that i am 21, after 13 years, i am still so in love with horn and i like the role the french horn in the main band, it always create that kind of dynamic effect in the piece and makes the whole music sounds so grand yet gentle. And also those background tunes played by the horns, sounds like some very distance replies the the music!

I wanna buy a horn seriously... ever since i touched the horn again after Poly, i seriously have this urge to get one and also get instructor and also get into a band once again! how.... An Average Horn is About $10,000 -/+ SGD!!!! i need to rob the bank lar!

anyone? my ORD present? Birthday present? "The day i know you as a friend" present?

work?

2008-02-20T20:32:00.005+08:00

i dun talk much about work in my blog... partly its because some military information is just "sensitive" to share...

but recently i am damn depressed... i dunno what the hell my boss is thinking... but whatever he is doing just makes me feel so so so so sian.... =(

2 months ago, i was still a happy living creature... hopping and rolling and tossing here and there in my old office... just recently my boss decided to shift all of us (The Band of Brothers) to HQ and settle our new office there...

Life in HQ is never peaceful... now and there you will get some old cunning fox trying to get you in trouble... never felt so pissed off in the force before...

Recently my boss decided to try out some really crazy and i deem not gonna working + waste of time plan! he actually wanna separate us and throw us into places where he wants more manpower..

its like asking someone who draws $710 pay a month to do as much work as someone who draws over $2000++... it will never work...

ahh... 4 months to go... i dun care already... give me extra... make me run or roll or hop all over... shower me with arrows of Sai Kang... I seriously dun care...

anyway dun wanna talk about this... just pray for me...

show you peeps something... i smile upon seeing it...

Feb 14

2008-02-14T20:32:00.003+08:00

Feb 14... Today is Valentines Day... But its just another horrible day to me...

Valentines Day are for lovers, for those who had someone they like, and for husband and wife... well... its like i do not fit into any of these category. i am not bitter with the whole valentines extravaganza... I don't know the occasion by heart because i haven't really celebrated it..

Seeing my friends and camp buddies so stressed up over valentines day and on the opposite, i am so free here... it feels kinda weird though... but i am grateful because i feel so peaceful on this valentines day...

Feb 14 also means SAD, not the dictionary word Sad which means unhappy...

SINGLES AWARENESS DAY!!!

Ya... i was trying to wikipedia on how did valentines day came about and i found something more interesting! Singles Awareness Day~

Singles Awareness Day (SAD) is a humorous holiday celebrated on February 14. It serves as an alternative to Valentine's Day for people who are single: that is, who are not involved in a romantic relationship. On Singles Awareness Day, single people gather to celebrate or to commiserate in their single status.

Some want to remind romantic couples that they don't need to be in a relationship to celebrate life. A common greeting on this day by its adherents is "Happy SAD!"

But i have no idea why... it sounds like a day created by the losers who are unable to get a date on valentines day... but who cares... Happy SAD! hahaha!

Happy Valentine's Day to all my friends who are in love~ and Happy SAD to all the singles!

And Jody~ welcome back to the "singular club" !

Valentines day is an ordinary day. It will only be special if you have someone to share your heart with.

CNY

2008-02-10T02:35:00.000+08:00

Finally...

New blogskin!

I dunno about you, but i just love the mood and feel of this new skin!

it feels so relax~~~~

not totally done yet... but i cant wait to use it... i need to change the photos... its damn ugly! lol

CNY is suxy~ alright besides the major shrink in red packets.. abt 80% lesser~ from 4 digit to 3 digit... thats so pathetic...

messed up...

2008-02-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

It used to be a happy family with 30+ members, i will never forget those New Year and Christmas celebrations we used to have. Everyone was laughing and little cousins running around here and there... i used to be one of them rolling, hopping and tossing all over ah ma's shop house. But what happened lately... why everyone hates each other so much... why is my family bringing their own brothers and sisters to the court? it hurts...

As Ah ma and Ah gong are getting older day by day... their days are really numbered... i wonder will anyone in this family understand what is love? And i am not here to fight for money or whatsoever... i just hopes everyone can appreciate each other and forgive and love each other... but it seems really impossible at the rate its going...

...

2008-01-25T22:24:00.000+08:00

Suddenly... just Suddenly... Life seems to be in slow motion...
Suddenly... just Suddenly... i realized how much time i wasted...
Suddenly... just Suddenly... i really wished if i own a time machine...
if only time can be turned back huh?

you know i wish i wish the wish you wish...
wishing under the same star...
are we all wishing for a time machine too?

Have anyone thought of what if God really gives you a time machine...
how much time will you turn back?

Once i asked myself this question a long time ago...
My answer was back to 2001 June...
Because i wanna tell her a different thing at very night and hopefully it will save us from breaking up...

Think of it again... it seems really really retarded...
so i asked myself the question again...
maybe if there is really a chance for me to turn back time...
lets go back to 2006 Dec...
There is something i regretted not doing that time... which might really make a different to me today?

got so emotional at this very night... its been almost a month since i really care about all this and get kinda emotional... well... Its all about this crazy little thing call love... does it really concern me so much... the answer is NO... but why this gloomy face =(

i think i got tired of all this suddenly... its 7 years looping in the same loop... if i really cannot pass this subject... so be it... just drop it... i m really tired of all this...

owl~

2008-01-18T21:34:00.000+08:00

Have you seen an Owl before? What about baby owl?

This week a baby owl was spotted in my work place, seems like he fell from the nest. He is super cute! like a round feather ball with 2 very big round black eyes!

the first day we found it, he looks pretty scared as if we are gonna eat him up for dinner! i made a tiny nest using box and toilet rolls for him. Jason came up with a name for our new "pet", Peanut~

Peanut is round, brown, tiny and really cute~ he is about the size of a regular palm~

still remembered on the first day we fed him HOTDOG!! LoL~ Peanut might be the first Owl that had eaten hotdog and bread! actually jason and i wanna go to the field and hunt some grasshoppers but we are not allowed to go... =(

The 2nd day morning, Peanut is missing from the nest we made for him, he can actually fly already! but Peanut cant really fly high, my work place is fence up, so we managed to locate him on a 3m high antenna~

To our surprise... we found Peanut's elder brother! He is much bigger and his feather is nicer, maybe because Peanut was touched by us... make his feather messy! lol.. we named Peanut's Brother as Hazelnut! =D

We also managed to spot their original nest, which is about 7-8m high at a corner of the ceiling, the nest is alot bigger than normal bird nest, size of a 36 inches TV? Dark in colour and looks pretty messy~ Mummy Owl was also spotted, the size as big as a regular HDB cat, we named her Walnut! heh..

So every morning the 1st thing i do is to located Peanut, Hazelnut and Walnut's new location, everynite the 3 of them will fly to hunt, maybe for peanut and hazelnut, they practice flying~ but no matter what, Peanut and Hazelnut always fly back to my building and sleep, Walnut cannot be located on some of the days, maybe she hide herself really well~. Peanut is abit stupid lar... always sleep at places where within human reach! Hazelnut is smarter, he is always found resting at about 4m from the ground, so we never got a chance to touch Hazelnut~ unlike Peanut... I will give him a pat everyday! heh!

Owls in the day are really like zombies, they hardly move nor fly... strange... but i find it cute... They can stand at spot from morning till sunset and they never fell! (except Peanut)

Star shining bright above you

2008-01-11T21:27:00.000+08:00

Star shining bright above you~

Saw many many many stars today~

Not the stars hanging on the sky~

They are walking STARS!

Military Generals~

Cant believe i actually salute the 3 Star General Desmond Quek~

And He actually made an effort to pause the conversation with the Colonels and Salute back!

So nice of Him...

Its strange... But i do feel really good!

Saw BlackKnights Flying just now.. so cool...

and after 18 months in the force... i finally see a really pretty girl thats in the force! Super RARE! =)

=) =(

2008-01-07T20:45:00.000+08:00

Happy or Sad? Up or Down?

Emotions are like stocks.. perharps the most risky stock...

yet another new year resolution...

2008-01-01T10:52:00.000+08:00

So 2007 Resolutions review...

-Depend on God in whatever and whenever, for i am nothing without Him. (I am walking closer and closer with him, especially lately, well done =] )
- Achieve a growth in spiritual (thats quite a sure thing~ well done =] )
-Return back to fellowship and be regular for service (Manage to return, thou its only start in Oct, but so far i am very regular.. keep it up =) )
-My Mother's and Friends' Salvation (hm.. please pray for this.)
-be a good sergent (i got no man! hahahahaah!)
- Save money, 1st quater $1000, 2nd $500, 3rd 500, 4th $500, Total $2500 (EXCEEDED!!! =DD)
-Driving License (booo.... Driving lesson starting this coming Sat~ hahahaha)
-Improve on my Fitness, Ippt: Gold, Soc below 9 30 (this is bullshit... Ippt current status: PASS! SOC? wats that? i am full of fats now!)
-Be more Cheerful! (i guess its 2008 resolution)
-Learn to appreciate people and things (thanks to this resolution, i think i am learnt to appreciate alot of things around me.)
-Know someone more... (who is that someone? LOL~)

=============================================================

2008 Paul's Mission Impossible New Year Resolution 9999x9999 pixels

- I am gonna study Finance and Economic in SIM, RMIT (1 Star)
- Achieve another level in spiritual growth and a close walk with God (3 Star)
- Be a regular in service and fellowship, No more running away alright.. (1 Star)
- Mummy's Salvation and Daddy's Forgiveness (5 Star)
- Driving License before ORD (3 Star)
- Develope 6 small Countries and 2 big Continents and ya... (4 Star)
- IPPT : Silver Award (2 Star)
- 15 Chin Up target!! Ouch~ (4 Star)
- Be Optimistic! Smile more!~ (5 Star)
- Continue to Appreciate People and Things happening around me (3 Star)
- Play the stupid Guitar (4 Star)
- Let God heal my heart and soul (6 Star)
- Be good friend with someone (6 Star)

2007 was one of the worse year for me, althou its my 21st year, i think i kinda wasted it.

To be frank, i dun really know what the hell i did this year, beside achieving some incredible godly items in Granada Espanda, i dun think there is much of a personal sense of achievement. its another run away year just like 2006.

2006 and 2007 were horrible years for me, i am gonna personally make sure 2008 will be a good year for me.

At least 2007 was a year i manage to untie some knots inside my heart, somehow i am relieved althou things isnt the way i wished it could be. Really looking forward to ORD and a start of new life in Uni and part time working.

For my friends who are worried about me especially during Dec, i am okay... thanks for supporting and pushing me all the way til that very final moment. At least i did it, rather then keep it inside for another year right? Cheers =)

God is fond of you!

2007-12-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

If He did not came down to earth, i might be a different me altogether today...

God thinks you're Wonderful! Thanks Wendy for the best present this Christmas =D

Come to think of it... Its really really realllllly touching... Wendy was praying that God will give this special gift to someone who really needs it... We draw lots as we are gonna randomly exchange present, but we redraw for 3 times... i didnt draw any cards on the 1st and 2nd round coz i was planning to be the last guy to draw... let everyone take first... but 1st and 2nd round got ppl draw their own present... so not counted... the 3rd round is a fair game...and i got the card too... at 1st abit sian coz i see the present kinda small... but it ended to be the best present this christmas!

i think i am about to experience a rough sail in my life... Have been praying and praying and praying... dont really wanna be so affected with the things that happened or about to happen... i suddenly felt so loved... He knows my heart and i can really feel He is trying to comfort me in everyway He could...

Wendy! your precious present from overseas did went to a person God really thinks he needs it! i am so touched... i hope u too can feel it...

I will pass it on after i am done with it... and hopefuly it will help many others too!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-23T13:16:00.000+08:00

就要发生的时间 . . .
如何有所准备 . . .
它就静静的出现 . . .
却走进了我的视觉 . . .
以为丰富的经验 . . .
能让我度过一切 . . .
我逞强地唱着唱着 . . .
却不住地后退 . . .

as i stare into lunia wallpaper on my monitor on a sunday morning... this song comes into my mind... it kinda match what i am feeling...

Porn?

2007-12-18T18:50:00.000+08:00

One day, i was watching it started from a kiss 2 in my living room, there was a kissing scene of xiang qing and zhi shu for about 5 MINS long~ ya... its the longest kissing scene i ever watched... plus Ariel is my fav actress.... kinda jealous~

During the screening of the long 5 mins kissing scene... my mum walked into the living room... the time was about 12am ++ and she actually tot i was watching porn stuff! lololol.... it took me awhile to clean the whole thing up~

Its almost the end of the year, still there are so many unsettled things~ but i am sure everything will come to an end soon.

Pain Of The Night

2007-12-04T20:18:00.000+08:00

Watch as this tear falls into empty space...
See it fall into life's nameless place...
Can you see the sparkle as it catches the light...
That sparkle once was happiness that is no longer in sight...
As it falls watch it, its color has changed...
From blue to bright red, it has a wide range...

There it goes all alone, it continues to fall...
With it, it takes the emotion, the emotion of all...
Wait, can you hear it? A sob has broke free...
Has shook the lungs cold, but yet it continues to be...
Here it comes, a force has been built between the eye...
A wall of shear water, it's now time to cry...

A shudder, a scream, darkness envelops your soul...
The darkness of the night has taken its toll...

Pain Of The Night by Sweett

Its another lonely night i have to endure... somehow its hurt inside... i cant breath...
i wonder if you appreciate me?

its a mission trip!

2007-12-03T20:13:00.000+08:00

Mission Trip to JB was wonderful, great and OMGly Fun!

Still remembered i was sooo buzy the whole week trying to prepare for this big mission. Can you imagine a NS guy in uniform painting clouds and rainbow in his office? haha... all my friends keep asking me what happened... or teasing me... some even asked am i from SAF ART CLUB! LOL... But seriously i had fun painting rainbow~ it really brings back memories~

We went to this childcare center and there were over 100 little kids ranging from 2 to 9 in their age. The moment i stepped into the center i felt so happy... little kids are just too cute that you cant help it but enjoy the laugher and fun time with them.

then i happened to know this 3 siblings from some game, Wan Rou, Wan Xuan and Jia Kang. They are so cute lar, Wan Xuan especially, she is just 4. And later part wan Xuan sticked with me most of the time, i really like her alot leh... i dun mind to have her as sister... just too cute lar~ lol... the 3 of them also have very good nature.

my hard work did not go to waste~ my group actually got in 1st for the talent show~ thanks to the cute little children in my group and also the wonderful clouds and rainbow i painted~ i think we put up quite a good show =D Wan Xuan was also in my group, but she isnt suppose to be inside... she very ke ai... she went to tear out her colour sticker so that she dun belong to any group. of coz i dragged her into my group! she is also benny's fav~ tai ke ai le!

xiuqi's group did very well too, i tot her piano idea was so creative lar... was thinking she is gonna win~ her group got in 2nd! not bad also~ Wan Rou was inside her group.

3rd was Yilin's group, she didnt waste her $12 buying those cotton and plates~ haha...

later after the whole things, i became the balloon man for the kids~ so many of them came for the balloons~ really messy but very nice, when i made the balloons for them and the kids just keep smilling so happily... its so fulfilling~

the evening gospel rally was great, the choir did pretty well despite of being so tired after a hard day with the kids. i was so pleased to see people accepting Jesus as our saviour... =)

The day was a very super tiring day, but its been awhile i am actually so happy. =)

sad?

2007-11-27T21:07:00.000+08:00

Life after 21 wasnt as what i imagined.

i wonder why do i feel so sad recently... i hate night time... its so lonely...

most of my friends are either buzy, tired or got gf/bf to entertain. suddenly i felt so alone.

should i? or should i not? its really a hard and confusing decision i have to make... it sux...

fat finger...

2007-11-25T11:37:00.000+08:00

my fingers hurt =(

i used to be so amazed with the fat and round and thick fingers of mine... now i kinda annoyed by them... my hands are too fat lar... the dumb thing just cant stop buzzing cause i always accidentally touched another string... wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

WHY I AM SO ANGRY!

2007-11-20T19:45:00.001+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!!!! I DUNNO WHAT AM I EXPECTING!!!!!!!!! I JUST FEEL LIKE WACKING SOME OBJECT AND SHOUTING AT SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

A 21st magic

2007-11-12T21:45:00.000+08:00

so this is like the 3rd week after my 21st... to many people.. 21st might just be another day...

The day i turned 21st, its the same to me... i felt is just another day... but another more happier day...

But it seems God did not planned it to be just another day for me... its a miracle that just 3 weeks after my 21st... i surprising cut down on the amount of time i spent in gaming... til the extend i can pass a day without running those exciting online games installed in my PC... never in my life i have done a personal timetable to organize my time.. but recently i did one... and there is this flaming desire in me to become a better person and to serve Him more...

Is this the magic of being 21?

i am really grafeful for all this suddenly changes in me... i sing my praises as i recieve his grace... really pray that God will keep me thru this... throw in some problems into my life now and then and make me stronger everytime i overcome them... and always remind me that the battle is His, not mine, and to rely on Him to overcome all this coming sand,stones,rocks,hills and even mountains!

end of 21st~

2007-11-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

happy?

i guess its the end of my 21st bday alr~ ya... kinda had alot of fun~ and happy moments too!

today mummy bought me out to choose my 21st Crosssss! actually 21st ppl give gold keys... but i dun wan key lar! i told her i wan a cross instead~ ya.. we bought it.. i love it so much... its gonna be my precious from today onwards~~

My Preeeeeeecioussssssss! =D

ya... and my old man gave me a red packet... its its $2100... ya.. only ppl like him will give this type of red packet... i actually wanna reject it.. coz i really hate him... but i wanna learn driving.. u know...

then again... life doesnt chnaged much even i m 21 now.. ya... when are we going to watch RA films? =DDDD

good luck and may God bless to all my friend taking exams now~

A 21st Entry...

2007-10-28T18:33:00.000+08:00

Welcome to the rank of 21st~

My 21st birthday wasn’t as bad I once thought it should be like. I am kind of grateful and happy that it was indeed a very happening and fun birthday.

Actually my initial plan was not to celebrate this birthday, reason is because there are some things I made a promise back when I was 16, I told myself 5 years down the road what I wanted to be and what I should have achieved. Unfortunately, it did not turn out to be the way I wanted; basically I blamed myself for the lousy discipline in me. Therefore as a result I kind of hated myself and deemed undeserved for a celebration.

Maybe you know many things happened, to be frank this year wasn’t a very happy year for me, just like 2005 and 2006. Maybe God want me to understand something, which apparently I haven’t quite understand any. . .

Seriously I wonder how did I survived for 21 years if it wasn’t without God, I was born “unwanted”, in fact my dad attempted to make my mum miscarriage before, forcing a pregnant lady to drink soap water, pushing her down the stairs and all. 2 months after I was born my parents divorced. Since then I was push around in the family to be looked after. I still remembered vividly how did I survived every moment, from my father side to my mother side to caretakers, everyone is pushing me around. But I thank God because of this I am more endurance and able to take hardship, I got quite a personality which I quite like it myself too. Maybe this is the only way to developed this unique me in His very unique way.

It’s almost the end of 2007; I believe this 28 OCT is the happiest one since 2005. I thank everyone that came and celebrated with me, everyone that thought of me and everyone that made effort to create such a memorable experience for me.

The reason I ended celebrating it was because I told myself lets erase everything away, all the unhappy things and etc, all those who are evil against me and wanted to harm me. Let’s start from here, 28 OCT 2007. I am not too late for a new start, just 21 years later. Being so harsh to myself don’t seem to improve anything after all.

Sorry for such an emo entry. . next entry will be about the fun stuff that happened on that very nite =D

2007-10-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

i m UPSET!!!

i cant upload new songs into my FLASH MP3 PLAYER! and I cant login to Granado Espada after the dumb patch! and Dennis is taking his own sweet time to meet me!

ARGZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a solution

2007-09-15T17:07:00.000+08:00

What will you do to someone who betrayed you? forgive the person 77 times?

but how the hell can we actually do that man... does that means the children of God will be like idiot that gets bullied by everyone becoz he simply forgives?

i was so confused for awhile... and i decided why not lets find some answers to this...

This is a quote from Rev. Dr. Amy Ruth Schacht during her sermon back in 2005.

"What Jesus says before: That when someone sins against you, you are to go talk with them about it, and if that doesn’t work, take someone with you, and if that doesn’t work, get folk from the church involved, and if that doesn’t work, you walk away. So when Jesus says to forgive 77 times, he doesn’t mean literally count up 77 times then walk away, but nor does he mean he let someone walk all over you and keep forgiving them. "

ya... maybe i should try talking to them... but the feeling is like giving in... it suxs... but why is my "self Pride" so high? i really need help to humble myself down before anything... but i still dun really understand when will be the time i will need to walk away...

Forgive because He forgiven me... lets start with this... dun walk away go fast....

boring

2007-09-03T22:33:00.001+08:00

2007-08-27T01:06:00.001+08:00

today... nice day...

finally after 2 months? Went out for dinner with hz at last.. really very long nv see her... whenver i encountered unhappy experience.. she will always be the one in my mind that i wanna talk to... and yup... told her so much about what happened recently... everything juz sux...

seriously... i felt alot better~ ya.. omg the power of hz... paul got owned...

well well... maybe i should start to work out my resolve soon? i figured it out that there is no point being sad and disappoint in this dark tiny coner... give me strength my Lord...

was planning is it time to return fellowship? its almost a year already... lets see what hz got... youth fellowship? maybe our combine fellowship? =D

2007-08-21T00:54:00.000+08:00

200807 Monday....

it was actually my leave day... but i cancel it due to some things... got my No 3 today... oh my... i will be wearing air force No 3... But I am in army vocation... joint force is really damn anyhow~ haha

watch secret again... yes i watched 2nd time... today is with jasmine, derrick and Dennis... i think i really liked the show... and also want to see rain again... haha... i really think she got this special aura that makes her different.. ya.. She isn’t very chio type... but i like her more than sky leh... haha~

Everything is still very messy~ i have no idea how to fix this puzzle sia...

As the day is coming nearer... my fear and anxiety increases... what will i do on that very day?