Life is changing faster than i am expecting... Really having a hard time to believe that amount of changes in a sudden 1-2 months...

Recent economic crisis has finally hit me... my mum lost her job and i felt a responsibility to grow up faster and be independent and also help her out... I thank God for being always there for me, knowing how i feel and listening to my prayer every night... Mummy found a new job recently... but instead of the usual 5 hours job she was doing.. the new job requires her to work 10 hours a days... and it sounds tiring to me... that could also means she will have very little time and energy for house chores and all... No more breakfast ready for me the moment i wake up... No more clothes all done up... No more nice and neat living environment?

She was telling me last night that she hopes i can help her out with chores like ironing my own clothes, washing them.. take care of my own meals.. Dun sounds hard to me... but she seems to worry alot that i might not cope...

It seems God is not going easy on me at all, given me a relationship i always wanted... but also lots of problems tagged along with it... which requires an enormous amount of effort and patient till everything can really work out... He pushed my limits to the max.. On top of my new and current commitment and my studies, He is adding problems in my house, and took away so much time from me... I used to control time.. but Time is controlling me now.. =( I can feel He is telling me it is time to grow and be strong... He probability had a great plan for me... and now he needs me to be stronger in order to work his plan... isnt it wonderful that God had put in so much effort in my life and is making me go thru all these for a stronger Paul? =)

Pray for me... Life is not gonna be easy on me for the next few months...
Get orientated soon my boy... We got work to do =)

Till the end - 斗鱼原声带

演唱 / 词 / 曲 :陈达伟 David Tan

All these precious moments
With you by my side
Must be a gift from heaven
That 's holding me all night
I don 't know how I found you
I 'm thankful that I have

Now that I have a love so true
To hold ,
to keep ,
to share


In my heart ,
I can no longer hold inside
All of the love I used to hide
I 'll always be
with you until the very end

In this world ,
there is no place I 'd rather be
You are my life ,
my soul ,
my girl

And through it all
I know
that you 've come to see
that You 're the one
till the end

All my friends around me
Say you 'd be gone too soon

Baby ,
I 'm gonna make them see
We 've found our way back home

In my heart ,
I can no longer hold inside
All of the love
I used to hide
I 'll always be
with you untill the very end

In this world ,
there is no place I 'd rather be
You are my life ,
my soul ,
my girl
And through it all

I know that
you 've come to see that
You 're the one
till the end

We 'll always be
till the end

Was reading my "secret" blog after so long of leaving it alone there... then i came across this entry... which i think it is suppose to be shared and not kept secret... anyway i had a good laugh when i read it... like... what the hell? i actually wrote that kind of stuff! haha~ Entry was from Monday, October 03, 2005! enjoy~




Monday, October 03, 2005

The Lao Tai Po~

lalalala....

A little angry... but i can control it =)

maybe i am a little pissed off?

anyway... That lao tai po at my home was trying to show how GREAT she is~ oh ya... Great huh? but hor.. my foot greater... *SPLASH* opss... GONE~

lalala... so lame..

Juz now... she was asking me to read her a letter... its my father's car fine~ *serve him right! kekeke* The Lao Tai Po at my house was trying to play Sherlock Holmes? or maybe Jin Tian Yi? she was trying to find clues on where my father could be living with that bitch based on the car fine! Splendid isn't? But.. hahaha! too bad the fine was at TAMPINES STREET 21!!! lolololxxxxxxxx that's my father's shop location~ *MISSION FAILED!*

Then she wanna throw the fine away coz she couldn't get any clues out of it... how wicked nowadays Lao Tai Po can be... Nv Nv Nv... of fence them... rated HIGHLY dangerous Animals! =XXXXX

Then i said.. i wan that letter... becoz i am going to give it to my father~

She eyes grew big with fury flames burning in them... and then she cleared her throat with a loud "AHEM!" which sent a quake shock wave into my room and bounces off the wall~ I suffered sober injuries in my little ears~ CRUEL LAO TAI PO!

Then she exclaimed "HUH WHAT? YOU HAVE BEEN SEEING YOUR FATHER LATELY????" Wow.. that exclamation had a huge amount of potential energy stored in it... after the unleashed of this supersonic sound wave~ books and CDs were flying around my room and all glasses broke upon coming into contact with that supersonic sound wave! wow... how terrifeak...

After recovering from the catastrophic damage done~ i spoke up... with firm voice... i thundered into her half deaf ears! "NOPE I DIDNT! BUT HE REQUIRES ME TO HANG OVER HIS LETTERS BEFORE HE IS WILLING TO HANG OVER MY ALLOWANCE! U DUMB ASS!" (opsss... pls censor the last 3 words away)

Looking unaffected with my lvl 99 Thunder Bolt shock wave~ The Lao Tai Po swiftly did a counter attack... She quickly send another high speed super sonic shock wave back to me... cutting through my thunder bolts and crashing every obstruction in its way... the super sonic shockwave hit me! i fell from my chair and rolled to the other side of my room~ wow.. tts must be the legendary Ah Ma Shen Gong which once owned the world~ how horrifeakable!

"DUN TAKE HIS MONEY LA!" that was what came after the horrifeakable damage of that Legendary demonstration...

what the off lo... i dun take his money then YOU wanna feed me ar? dumb lo... she said why muz i care? not that i dun have a place to stay.. not that i have no food to eat...

hell to her! if she is 50 years younger... i will show her besides her Long lost Legandary Ah Ma Shen Gong~ i also know the Legendary Long Lost Tai Ji... Bai... opsss! heck care!

aiya... she is just very what the fook... ya... what the fook... fook u la...

dummiessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

posted by Paullution at 11:49 PM | 0 comments





lalalala~ but i love my ah ma so much now =)

Crap.. i wanna upload photos and start telling story of my first car accident... but i dunno why the upload photo function is missing... weird.. shall leave it til next time...

Come to think of it.. I didn’t realized school started for 1 month already... It feels like i am at the 1st week of school~ I guess I am really behide in my studies already =(

Oh Paul, Time management! please improve the way you manage time! haha~ i think i horrifeakly managed time this new semester... and i am pretty sad over it.. =(

This new semester's modules are pretty tough, and they are not straight forward at all... The notes i read are written in alien... The economic graphs had like 10 curves and 20 lines on it! And I started to hate the letter “Y”, Becoz its all over the graphs!!! hahaha~ I wonder how is the target of 4 HDs this semester achievable.. =(

Oh ya… Started my trumpet music lesson and I am aiming for a Grade 5 next year… I am gonna work for it! But can I have 48 Hours a day? Okay… How About 28 Hours?? Pleaseee =)

This new semester, kind of found a new group of friends whom are closer to my type of frequency… the Di Siao Siao and Crazy Wacko Frequency =) Great to know funny and fun people.. Great to feel appreciated.. Great to feel wanted and belonged =)

Paul shouldn’t be so lonely compared to first semester I guess? Yup =)

There are many things at the back of my mind, many things waiting for me to handle and fix them.. But before I can do all those stuff… I just hope I can overcome this big issue that I am facing right now… Although I feel things are getting positive, but that fear that I might end up all alone again creeps me… It hurts whenever I force myself out of love =( So please overcome it. I choose to be brave and move forward, I dun care about the consequences anymore. =)

Oh yes, i had a really good day today, thanks to someone =)

怎么去拥有 一道彩虹
怎么去拥抱 一夏天的风
天上的星星 笑地上的人
总是不能懂 不能觉得足够

如果我爱上 你的笑容 要怎么收藏 要怎么拥有
如果你快乐 不是为我 会不会放手 其实才是拥有

当一阵风吹来 风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷 而祝福 而感动
终于你身影 消失在 人海尽头 才发现 笑着哭 最痛

那天你和我 那个山丘 那样的唱着 那一年的歌
那样的回忆 那么足够 足够我天天 都品尝着寂寞

知足的快乐 叫我忍受心痛


足够? 我懂不懂?

Why do i worried so much about future... i got tired and restless... For now i just wanna focus on present... just treasure these precious moments... and make them into sweet memories... Be it what will happen tomorrow.. If i still can smile today.. i smile =)

If a stock is considered as very high risk and it comes with really low returns... Will anyone even consider such a stock? If there is... Is that person a fool?

I think i am the fool... Why did i risk my own happiness? Shouldn't i have learn to be a little more selfish? It hurts to figure out the truth...

I wanna be a little emotional now... My heart is suggesting why don't i have a good cry and just forget about everything... I shouldn't have opened the door so early...

As soon as they return to normal, everything will be fine except me. So... before that day comes, before my fear turns reality... before i am left alone there... will it be a good idea to pull myself out from this? It will hurt...

Jesus are you there? What storm am i facing now? what trials in His Will am i going through? I am tired, can i take a little rest?

I am not that wonderful after all..

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.

=) sometimes i dun even know if i have big faith or tiny faith.. although God said even a faith as tiny as a mustard seed can move mountains, still sometimes i feel so weak and helpless.

I am losing my smile, will it come back soon? It gonna take awhile for everything to settle, and i am praying for patience and endurance...

Since You bought me here, and now i am lost, please make a way out for me.